Yesterday morning I completed the first draft of my wedding sermon for Saturday, so this afternoon, I'll just need to read it over and make a few tweaks (it felt a tad heavy yesterday).

After another ludicrously long day in another crazy week, I allowed myself a bit of a lie in again this morning, despite young Sasha cat walking up and mewing in my ear every few minutes!  This meant I got a nice clear three hour run to do some tidying up of the vestry, update my diary and calendar and even do do a tiny bit of longer term planning!

A little bit of breathing space.  Some time to be rather than do.  Not especially holy and not especially mindful, though bits of each have arisen.

It's been a long run through since my last break in terms of weeks elapsed, and a demanding run in terms of what's been entailed.  So the thought of an early finish this afternoon (albeit partly to iron a vicar shirt for Saturday!) is very appealing.

I actually feel quite enthused and excited by what is in the diary for the next few months... busy for sure, challenging for certain but after a brief breather, I think I'll be ready to go once more.

So said someone, at least partially tongue in cheek, as he shook my hand on the way out of the crematorium.  Such are the local variances in funerary custom and the potential for confusion and misunderstanding...

I was, momentarily, thrown - to me it is utterly normal that the minister (or other celebrant) stands at the exit to shake hands with everyone as they leave, an expression of condolence to them and appreciation of their presence.  But that, it seems, is terribly, terribly English!  Ah well.  I'm not about to stop doing it!

The local tradition is for the family to line up at the exit and for everyone to file past, expressing their condolences in what has been referred to on occasion as "the penguin parade".  Hand shakes, expression of regret, hugs... and crematorium staff shoving the final few folk out of the door to get it closed in time for the next service...  It's a lovely custom, if not ideally suited to crematoria, and I certainly wouldn't want to change it.

Reflecting on the experience, I realised that my sample of Scottish crematoria (four) demonstrates a design difference from my sample of English crematoria (around a dozen I think at a quick count), in so far as most English ones (unless they are very old) have areas set aside for mingling after the service, with dedicated places where flowers may be laid out and viewed by all who have attended before they leave.  In a slightly less formalised way, the handshakes, hugs and expressions of condolecne take place.

Regional variation in funeral customs is huge - the use of biers (trolleys) or shouldering a coffin; the ettiquette for entering a crematorium chapel; whether the minister/celebrant leads in the coffin or waits to welcome it... and so many, many more.  it's not "right" or "wrong" it's just different.

The potential for misunderstanding is still huge, and what seems 'normal' or 'right' in one fairly localised area may seem 'strange' or even 'wrong' in another.

The key thing, I think, is that yesterday's services fulfilled the purpose for which they were intended, and if we ended up with some strange anglo-scottish or caledonian-english blend well, so be it.  I don't somehow think it matters in the scheme of things :-)