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  • Subconscious, conscious...

    Yesterday, I was in a bargain store, and saw packs of Jamiesons' Raspberry Ruffles on sale.  "Ooh," I thoguht, "Mum would like those..." Then I remembered.

    On Sunday morning, I had, as usual, put my phone to silent, and found the thought, 'just in case Mum phones during the service,' pass through my mind. Then I recalled, and smiled a wry smile.

    My conscious mind knows that she's dead; my conscious mind also knows that my subconscious mind has to play 'catch-up'.

    I guess it's early days (not quite two months yet) so this is inevitable.

    The thoughts don't make me sad, more they make me smile as I recall memories, but the change of tense is still taking a while to be fully absorbed.

    So, the memory of her phone calls...

    Ring-ring, ring-ring...

    "Hello, Catriona Gorton speaking."

    "Hello Catriona Gorton, this is your mother speaking."

    Always made me smile, and the memory still does.