Words matter, language matters, and pronouns matter in ways often more subtle than I, at least, realise.

Yesterday, as I was reflecting on my call to The Gathering Place, I became aware just how much I've allowed the way I tell the story to become about 'me'.  Partly this is inevitable - these are my spaces to write and reflect about my epxeriences.  Partly it's the story I am told, that 'you' (I) am this significant person by dint of what, rather than who, you are: the person whose name is official Baptist history, even as I try my best just to get on with doing my 'job'. Partly, though, it's too narrow, because my story only has meaning as part of our story, whichever 'us' I am thinking about the time - church, denomination etc..

Sometimes - more than sometimes - my fear of fouling up to such an extent that this church would never call another woman, results in a kind of isolating introversion that means I forget this is about 'us', together, making it work.

Sometimes - more than sometimes - my fear of damaging the cause of ordained women in Baptist ministry in Scotland, results in a kind of self-regulation that means I forget that actually this is about another 'us.'

Sometimes - more than sometimes - my inbuilt impostor syndrome causes me to over-reflect on the tiniest errors or misunderstandings, internalising every crticisim or negative comment and forgetting the positives.

Sometimes - more than sometimes - I forget that this is our story, that the church I share also has worries and wounds, and for that I am sorry.

So today, on this Midsummer's Day, as the sky is blue after many days of grey, I will celebrate the 'us' and recommit myself to shape my 'world' with language more plural.

... I sat in my office in Dibley waiting for a phone call.

It was an anxious wait, nothing was certain.

And then it came... a 98% vote in favour of calling me to the Gathering Place.

Had there been space in my miniscule office, and had I been more agile, I'd have turned cartwheels.  As it was, I did a little jump on the spot (after I'd put the phone down) and probably made a celebratory cup of tea before having lunch.

A lot has happened since then. In some areas my thinking/understanding has changed.  In some ways I am far less less confident than I was then - in part because I am so much more conscious of my own mortality.  As expected, the good bits have been much better than I might have imagined, and the worst bits so much worse, that's just the nature of ministry.

A decade on, I love this place and these people very deeply.

A decade on, I remain convinced that this is where God wants me to be.

A decade on - how did that happen!

For what has been, thanks to God, and, tentatively yet faithfully, for what's to be, yes.

I recently spent £25 on an audio e-book version of the 'Bible in a Year'.  In just four days I've listened to fourteen 'days' worth of David Suchet reading the NIV to me, in assorted selections.  He has a very listenable voice, and I've quite enjoyed falling asleep each night to him reeling off genealogies from Genesis!  Because it's dated, and starts on 1st Janaury, I've decided to listen to two or three 'days' at a time to try to catch up a bit (to be fair, I could have leaed straight to June but hey, it's more fun this way!)

Now that I've worked out how to set the app to turn itslef off with a timer, I'm not sleeping through as much, and I am enjoying very much this new-to-me approach to devotional Bible reading!

Yesterday I stumbled across this stunning image by iconographer Kelly Latimore.

Something worth sitting with this Trinity Sunday

Row upon row of pink fabric tied to rope.  If you could get closer, you would be able to read the messages... 'remembering mum/sister/daughter/partner/friend...' 'celebrating health/life/hope...' 'praying/wishing for...'

I took this photo five years ago, when I did a 20 mile charity fund raising walk for Breast Cancer Care, starting and ending at Scone Palace in Perthshire. I still have - and still sometimes listen to - the five hour play list I created with the music chosen by those who sponsored me, along with some pieces of music/songs that are significant to me or are in memory of women whose lives were cut short by this horrible disease.

Today one of my longest standing bc-buddies, A, will be laid to rest after a courageous journey with stage 4 breast cancer.  Hers was a life well-lived, full of love and laughter, generosity and fun.  We weren't ever close, but we shared some happy times and some sad times along the way.  Farewell, A, may you rest in peace and rise in glory.