I like to think that I am pretty good at the basics of reducing, reusing and recycling, having done so for the majority of my adult life, and having ben proactive in seeking out means of recycling before kerbside began and/or when it still doesn't happen. 

This post is not about that!

In recent weeks my nearly eight year old laptop has been getting slower and slower and slower, to the point where I was seriously thinking I might need to replace it.  And I still might.

I spent a large chunk of my day off on laptop tidying... removing programmes I no longer use, backing up all the files, and then deleting from the laptop those I am very unlikely to look at.  I even discovered that if I could open up the bottom of it and blow out the dust, it might be happier... so with some trepidation I did that.  In doing so, I realised that is has lost two of its little rubber feet so sits flat on the table, with no air able to flow underneath to help cooling, so it's now propped up on a drinks coaster!

I'm not going to claim that it's like new, it's not.  But it is certainly happier, running faster and keeping cooler.

So, for the time being at least, my laptop lives on!  It still has a way to go to match my Lazarus desktop which resurrected after several 'blue screens of death' and graunchy hard drive, to reach the grand old age of twelve before it was replaced.  And, actually, it only finally went off to the recycling centre this week when I finally, six years later, got round to taking out its hard drive!

I also finally said farewell to a 1970s black and white portable TV that has travelled with me for longer than I care to remember... the cost of adapting it for digital would be unwarranted, so off it went to be recycled, along with a 1980s 'crooklock', a laser printer, a defunct barbecue and various other bits of junk.

It's been a busy week, and although I've been quietly mulling over two/three acts of worship and seminar for which I am responsible tomorrow, I am still in the process of getting any of that onto paper.  I am having lots of fun, really enjoying researching and playing with ideas... even if there's a danger I'll end up with the basis for an MA module rather than a 60 minute seminar along the way.

Probably spending around three hours creating a visual aid for something that will take around ten minutes is a bit OTT... but it's pretty much the way I'm wired.  I do remind myself that 'the best can be the enemy of the good' but I want to ensure people have a good experience, and that can drive me to rather excessive levels of preparation!

So, a quick few minutes distraction to compose a blog post may, afterall, be no bad thing!

This evening I created this 'graph', a bit of fun when my mind went off on a little tangent it found interesting when I was doing some preparation for Sunday's 'Away Day' and a session I'm facilitating on 'creating worship'.  It shouldn't really have the lines, it should just have data points, but the lines enable the pattern, such as it is, to be seen.  As to what it is... well, that'd be telling, but if you know your church calendar you can probably work it out without too much trouble!

Still lots of work to do tomorrow, but it's getting there!

I thought I'd share this, which is being used on Sunday evening, to see what anyone reading makes of it...  I think it's rather lovely.

By the Glorious Morning Light,

And by the Night when it is still -  

Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased.

And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present.

And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee that wherewith thou shalt be well-pleased.

Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter and care?

And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.

And He found thee in need, and made thee independent.

Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,

Nor repulse the petitioner unheard;

But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!

When I was starting out in ministry, there was a popular concept in the area of church health which was the "non-anxious presence", that is, the person (ostensibly the minister) who, in the midst of whatever change or conflict or circumstance, remained calm and unruffled and therefore enabled everyone else to feel that all would be well.

A very wise, long-experienced minister, when sharing these ideas with us, said he did not think there was any such thing, because we are (or become) part of whatever it is,and of course have feelings, stresses and anxieties.  He preferred the term, 'less anxious presence', which is one to which I aspire... not denying the legitimate concerns of others and myself, but not being constrained by them.

This week I have wound up having two the most stressful things in my personal calendar... a haircut and a  dental check up, thankfully not on the same day.  I don't know that I would ever have labelled what I experienced as 'anxiety' at least not in a medical sense, but certainly in the hours leading up to either I tend to become more tense and nervous, watching the clock lest I am late, and not wanting to arrive too early and be stuck in the waiting room.

The difference is, that this week, neither was traumatic (maybe that's an overstatement!) indeed, on neither occasion was I nervous, anxious, stressed or any other negative emotion; rather I was totally calm and relaxed.  I was, if you like, a less anxious presence.

I have to assume that this is an unexpected bonus of what I am terming 'Drug B' which seems to have wiped away my menopausal bad moods without turning me into a zombie.  Indeed, it would appear to have made me marginally gallus, as I actively sought a treatment plan from my dentist to replace some rather old fillings over the next couple of years!

It's kind of funny to discover only by its absence just how significant that mild anxiety had been.  And I hope it's made me a little more empathetic to other people who might be similarly affected.