This chunk of text covers a variety of material, and some of it is decidedly troubling to read.  Trying to find general principles and/or things that are maybe hopeful is quite challenging.

Resident Aliens

A few years back, it became quite trendy for Christians to describe themselves as 'resident aliens', combining a sense that we are to be "in the world but not of it" and at the same time "salt and light".  The world - for which read everything we find distasteful about contemporary secular society - is not our true home but whilst we live here we are to transform it.  Or something like that anyway.

In the rules for religious offerings, provision is to be made by Moses for any 'resident alien' who so wishes to perfrom ritual sacrifices "you and the alien shall be alike before the LORD".  It is this that strikes me most, I think, especially in the light of the politcal machinations in Europe over benefits for economic migrants, and of course the ongoing refugee crisis.  What happens if we take as given the idea that, before the LORD everyone is alike?  That everyone has equal worth, equal rights...

It also made me wonder who might be the 'resident aliens' in our churches, and how their experience compares with the ideal expressed here.

Unintentioned Sin

The atonement for unintentional sin comes in two catetgories - corproate and personal - each with means of atonement.  If collectively and  unintenionally the people foul up, responsibility is shared and everyone is involved in the process of atonement.  If it is an individual, then they alone must seek atonement.

A few years back, there was a rash of Christian groups making public apologies for their part in the transatlantic slave trade, outwardly at least a form of corporate confession.  Some efforts at reparation, or at least reconciliation have taken place but, to be honest, most people in most churches are largely oblivious.  And there those who question whether such apologies have any real worth or even legitimacy.

Perhaps what is significant here is the corproate nature of responsibility, irrespective who did wrong or failed to do right... everyone has their part to play and whilst ignorance fits with lack of intention, it does not remove responsibility.  Is it, and maybe it is, a step to far to see a hint of a 'no blame' culture, where rather than criticising those who foul up, everyone is de facto implicated and - hopefully - everyone will work together to prevent recurrence?

Tie a knot in your neck...

When I was growing up, the saying 'tie a knot in your handkerchief' as a reminder that something had to be remembered morphed into the less lovely 'tie a knot in your neck'.  I think this emerged from a story in which an elephant tied a knot in his trunk for the same purpose - but my memory is fuzzy.

The tassles with their blue cord, the fringes of remembrance stitched to the corners of the garments were intended to serve this purpose.  Later philacteries would perform a similar function.  And inevitably, over time, the symbolism risked being lost as custom and practice ceased to be underpinned by real understanding.

For most of my adult life I've worn a cross, a couple of different ones down the years, as a kind of symbol to myself, a reminder, at least in theory, of my faith.  For several years I wore a ring that I bought to mark my ordination, a visible reminder of the promises I made on that day.  I had to stop wearing the ring when lymphoedema caused my finger to swell too much, and recently when the chain on my cross broke I opted not to replace it.  I don't "need" these symbols as reminders, and wearing them can become mere 'habit'.  And yet... And yet, I think there is worth in such symbols, and perhaps in personal rituals, that serve as reminders of important values or moments.

Yikes, and Double Yikes!

Stoning to death for stick gathering on the sabbath seems incredibly harsh - and this little insertion serves only to instill fear.

The account of dissent in the ranks, the challenge to Moses from those who consider everyone to be holy, the sink hole that swallows up whole families and the plague that rages through the camp, is troubling in extremis.  Maybe there are legitimate questions to explore about the ordering of the faith community, and about the attitudes (perceived or actual) of, or towards, those in leadership.  Maybe dissension is a topic that sometimes needs to be recognised and addressed.  But the consequences attributed to divine mandate are incomprehensible.  Where is love or forgiveness or atonement here?

The one glimmer of grace in this story comes in the action of Aaron who, at Moses' command goes into the midst of the carnage and acts as a mediator, making atonment for the people and so stopping the relentless progress of the plague.  It takes courage, as well as conviction, to enter a situation of despair and attempt to bring hope.  I have huge admiration for those who, only last week, went to Calais and planted a fig and a vine by the fence that marks the edge of the container camp in Calais, defiantly symbolising hope where, humanly speaking, there is little or none.  I admire those who act as mediators in all manner of conflict situations, from polite middle class stand-offs to violent and war-torn regions.

It is way too easy, as I have sometimes heard done, to dismiss as iredeemable those in this story who perished; way too easy to make the story fit our own version of what God is like.  Harder, but ultimately more honest, to find it troubling.

Not an easy couple of chapters - so bonus points to anyone who is still reading!

The first third of the scroll has served by way of a reminder of parts of the Exodus narrative, with at least some repetition or overlap.  For a community who had not had the opporunity to read the former scroll, it serves as important scene-setting for what is to come next.

Now begins the new material!  Now Moses appoints a dozen spies who are sent out on a forty day expedition to discover what lies ahead of them.

What's in a Name?

At various points in scripture (Old and New Testaments) people's names are changed, so for example Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah; Simon to Peter, Saul to Paul... Such name changes are, we deduce, important, especially in a culture where the meaning of names was hugely signficant.  So it is that Hoshea, son of Nun is renamed Joshua (Yeshua), the Hebrew name of which Jesus is the Greek form.  Hoshea, it seems, means 'salvation', so a strong name in its own right; Joshua means 'God saves' recognising the source of such salvation.  Jesus being given the name he was would have created associations with the Joshua of whomwe now read.

Whilst we rarely change the names of individuals, we do sometimes change the titles we use for roles within churches, and for the assorted things we get up to.  For exmaple, whether it was the 1970s shift from 'Sunday School' to 'Junior Church' or the 2000s shift to 'Sunday Club' or 'Light Factory' or some other name altogether, there has been a sense that what we call our children and young people's work matters.  I'm not always sure the alternative names reflect a clearly thought through purpose beyond trying to be more 'trendy' and less overtly 'didactic'.  But they serve as examples of the kind of name changes that arise, with good intent.

I wonder, were we starting with a clean sheet of paper, what language we might use for 'churches' and 'ministers' and other aspects of our faith communities?

Half Full or Half Empty?

Twelve men went to spy in Canaan,

Ten were bad, two were good.

What did they see when they spied in Canaan?

Ten were bad, two were good.

Some saw giants tough and tall,

Some saw grapes in clusters fall,

Some saw God was in it all,

Ten were bad, two were good.

Anon (c) Hugh Mitchell

Twelve spies were sent out for a forty day (long) mission.  They saw a rich and fertile land.  They cut clusters of grapes, pomegranates and figs to carry home as evidence of the potential of the land.  They also saw that the people who occupied the land were strong and powerful, some of them being described as nephilim (see Genesis 6 if you wish, or just interpet this as 'here be giants').

I don't think the ten were bad.  I think the ten were scared.  I think the ten were possibly pessimists, or at least 'glass half empty' people who spotted all the possible problems and had no hesitation in making sure everyone knew about them.  I think the Sunday School song is harsh or unfair, but either way the consequences of what the ten reported were certainly not good.

Neither do I think the two were inherently good.  I think they were excited and inspired by what they saw.  I think they were optimists, or at least 'glass half full' people who focussed on the potential rather than the pitfalls.  These were the kind of people you'd think would be wanted, the sort people would be inspired by and listen to, so perhpas it's a bit of a shock when we discover that the people want to stone Joshua and Caleb.  Again the Sunday School song oversimplifies the situation to make its point, but it is true that for those with eyes to see, God's presence can be discerned in even the most challenging situations.

I wonder when I am more like one of the ten and when I am more like one of the two... and I wonder what the balance is in any cirucmstance we may find ourselves in?

As Others See Us...

Once again we are told that God is so angry that destroying everyone bar Moses (and presumably a few others) is postulated.  Moses' response is clever and intriguing... OK God, if you do that, how will it look to the Egyptians?  They won't see it as punishment for infidelity but as impotence on the part of the so-called God the people left Egypt to follow.  What kind of a God is this who can't follow through?

I wonder how the whole enterprise of Christianity looks from outside.  Not the easy criticisms or accusations of hypocrisy.  But what our story might lead people to deduce about the God we claim to serve?  How does our story reflect our truth claims?  How does God appear to those who watch us blundering in wildernesses of our own making?

A Generation Must Pass

The compromise that God agrees is that a whole generation, anyone aged 20 or over at the time of the census, will not enter the Land of Promise, with the exception of Joshua and Caleb.  The 'little ones' that the Hebrew/Israelite people had expressed such concern over would be kept safe and brought into the new land; those who had grumbled and rebelled, who had given way to pessimism and fear would reap as they had sown... Tough consequences indeed, but the promise remainded intact, the goal towards which the people journeyed was still there, and for the sake the 'little ones' they needed to keep going.

Impatience and Impetuousness

The people are saddened - hardly surprisingly - by the prospect of dying in the wilderness.  So some of them decide they'll just get on with it, and try to take on the people already there.  Moses and others stay put, this is not a well planned expedition and there is certainly no hint of divine mandate.  And unsurprsingly, this impetuous foray ends in failure, and those involved return defeated.

I have some sympathy with them, though.  Sometimes when it seems that things are moving incredibly slowly, or are even stopped or maybe going backwards, it is sorely tempting to get on and try to move things along.  Sometimes this may be a good thing, but sometimes it isn't, and can inadvertently cause more harm than good.

Perhaps, too, there is something about motivation here?  The people are acting from a starting point of dismay, disappointment and regret.  Sometimes I make choices when I'm 'not in a good place' that I later realise weren't wise, or that come back to bite me.  I expect that most people do.  Perhaps sometimes there is a need just to rest awhile, to lick our wounds, to allow our strong emotions to subside and only then to act?  Perhaps, for myself, sometimes I need to be a little more circumspect, reflecting how things may appear to others, rather than launching in to some well-intended, but not always helpful, response.

Lots to ponder - for me at least.

It being a beautiful, sunny morning, and having no requirement or expectation that I be anywhere in particular, I took myself off on a longish (~6 miles) walk with the aim of snapping a few buildings that were significant in my Mum's story.  The building in the picture above, now a restaurant (or at least past of it) was once Woodside Senior Secondary School in Glasgow.  It was here that Miss Thomson taught English, and Mr Lochie (sp?) probably taught Maths.  Here that my Mum wrestled with science, took Lower German and Higher French.  Here that she had cello lessons and made friends with girls she kept in touch with almost all of her adult life.  Here that she was always awarded 50% for art exams despite being unable to draw - but it would the only subject she would have failed, so they gave her the pass mark anyway!  Here that she would get up to mischief (how did she produce such a rule follower daughter? maybe precisely because of this!) and transition from childhood to adulthood.

I made sure that I passed the former church building (now a Hindu centre) where she had gone to Sunday School and where, years later, her parents had been caretakers (and we once or twice visited them in their small flat with a door that opened into the upstairs balcony of the church!).

There was also her former primary school, which only closed a couple of years ago.  Now it is totally hidden behind scaffolding as it is converted into student accommodation.

The old hymn speaks of "change and decay", which I've always heard as complementary... that each or both is observed, that change is somehow linked to decay.  I'm not so sure that's true, or that I've heard it correctly.  Change of use is not the same as decay.  Decay may arise when no change is forthcoming.  Perhaps the hymn is a reminder that each of these may, and often do, occur... all around me is change, all around me is decay, but somewhere, in the midst of it all, God is constant.

My walk took me in the direction of, so I thought, a cafe that I thought I'd give a try... I had a wry smile when I reached it only to discover that it is now a wedding dress shop.  Everything changes, nothing lasts forever... except the constancy of God.

Another interesting walk, and a few more snaps that I may use as memory prompts... and certainly stuff to ponder.

When I was at Kelvingrove, I looked at the postcards of selected artworks on display, and found myself recalling my own childhood visit there, at the age of about ten, and how each of us had been bought a postcard of one of the artworks by my Dad.  Mine was 'Cherry Ripe' - a painting that is perhaps a bit mawkish, and which I have been unable to confirm was ever displayed at Kelvingrove.  Perhaps my memory is defective, perhaps the postcard was on sale without the original being displayed, perhaps it didn't even come from there... Whatever the bare facts, the painting evokes fond memories, enough to prompt me to walk all round the gallery to confirm it wasn't there and then to search online for a picture of it.

Cherry Ripe was, for some reason, one of the pet names my Dad used for me when I was small, so I guess that's why he chose this postcard for me.  The card is long since lost, the memories are faded and undoubtedly rose-tinted, but the image still has the power to evoke a sense of wellbeing and pleasure, which is good enough for me.

I have a kind of working hypothesis about grace that runs roughly thus: it's not that God lifts you out of challenging situations, but that God somehow transforms them from with in.  I am also very clear that grace is a free gift - it cannot be earned or deserved, it cannot be requested or desired, it just is, the unexpected moment of goodness, or hope, or meaning or whatever it is, in an otherwise demanding context.

This afternoon I took myself off for a walk, and more or less on a whim, went to Kelvingrove Museum and Art Gallery, hoping that I might find some postcards to add to my collection of memory prompts for my Mum - after all this was one of her childhood haunts, a comparatively short distance from where she grew up.

And then I found myself realising how serendipitous it is that I now live and work in Glasgow, and so can easily go hunting for postcards or take photos that might prompt memories for her.  I then I wondered if maybe this was another example of grace... not that God had sent me to Glasgow for this purpose, but that, given this situation has arisen, one means of God entering and transforming it is achieved by me being here, now.

I found a few postcards that I think might be helpful, and then spotted a book, a collection of photos taken mostly in and around Partick in what was, evidently, a very hot summer in 1955.  I'm not sure that Mum was still in Glasgow then, she may have already gone adventuring to the USA, but the images are pretty much contemporary with her lates teens and will, I hope, prompt some conversations when we get to share them.

I think it's grace because it isn't something I could have 'manufactured'... had I lived elsewhere the opportunity would not have arisen, at least not naturally.

Tomorrow is Mothers' Day, and somehow this year it feels especially important that I take time to give thanks for my own mother, and all she has done for me, for us, for over half a century.