A miscellany of thoughts from the day...

When I got to the polling station this morning I was directed as usual to a wooden booth with a stubby pencil attached by a piece of string and a drawing pin.... That was roughly two inches (five centimetres) of twine on a pencil about two and a half inches long, and pinned to the right hand edge of the booth.  Not terribly helpful if you are left-handed and actually want to pick up the pencil.  Don't tell anyone but I released it from the drawing pin!!

During the course of the day I was asked by two lots of people for directions to polling stations!  First was a couple who had read the name of the school but not the address, so had arrived outside the wrong site.  Fortunately when I explained where the school has now moved to, they were able to go and vote.  Then was a near neighbour who may or may not be in the same ward as me (strange situation where housing complex opens onto two streets in two different districts!) - she wanted to vote but had lost her card and assumed I would know.  I sent her to where I voted and hoped for the best.

Unusually, there has been lots of activity on blogs and social media about voting, reminding people to get out and do it, and then debating whether or not spoiling a ballot paper was a valid choice.  I've always been of the view that it is, but some argue that it isn't, merely taking up time for the sorters and counters.  Hmm.  Not entirely convinced - surely a substantial number of spoiled ballot papers would say something to someone?  I didn't spoil mine, by the way, I've only ever done that once and accidentally due to wrong instructions on a postal vote.

Quite what any of this really means, who knows.  I am encouraged that there may be a good turnout (though I have seen reports of scarily low turnouts (so far) at some Scottish polling stations) which will hopefully dilute the impact of extremists - time will tell.

As others have said elsewhere, there are still just over three hours to vote if you haven't yet done so...

Tomorrow it's the European elections.  Use your votes, people - and use then wisely.  You may not share my political views but there are some parties that really are worrying in their views and apathy may allow them to gain ground.

The last time these took place I was in Leicestershire, and we came scarily close to electing a BNP MEP (indeed had East Midlands not had their quota reduced by one, we would have done).  In Dibley we had a lovely person who had come over from Barbados donkeys yonks ago to drive our buses, a job beneath too many native Brits - he was terrified about what might happen if they were elected (we already had a BNP councillor at the time).

God, grant us wisdom enough that, even if we can't choose 'right' then we choose 'less bad'...

I just realised that due to a typo on my part we had the 'wrong' Psalm on Sunday - I had wondered why it didn't accord with my recollection and why it was so 'smite mine enemies' in tone.  As I was preaching on John 14 not the Pslam, it didn't matter quite so much, and I did manage to make a reference to it as 'tricky to hear but very honest as an epxression of someone's feelings'.  Not convinced, as some in some churches would say, that it wa sa divinely induced slip, more down to careless checking what I'd typed.

So this week I wil be extra, extra careful!  And I have just extended the lectionary gospel reading by an additional ten verses too :)

This morning my Pink Ribbon Walk teeshirt arrived - which means it's now less than a month away, so I really must step up the training a bit.  What made me chuckle was the adress lable, a faithful reproduction of what I had entered using the drop down menu options on the website...

So there you go, I am officially the Other Catriona.

Yesterday's lectionary gospel included these famous words of Jesus.  Usually read as a command (presumably reflecting a Greek 'imperative', I didn't check), yesterday I played around a little with the idea that what Jesus was actually saying was softer, more along the lines of "I really don't want you to experience this heart-sick, gut-wrenching, sleep-denying agony of grief, loss and hopelessness" and that he did so having experienced, and possibly still experiencing, it himself...

Firstly, John 11 and the story of Martha, Mary and Lazarus.  As Jesus stood at the grave and realised the gravity of the situation, the grief of the sisters, the loss of Lazarus, the human consequences of his own tardiness, his heart was troubled; indeed so overwhelmed was he that he wept.

Or, John 12, in the aftermath of the excitement of Palm Sunday when Jesus used the beautiful image of the ear of wheat falling to the ground to bring forth abundant fruit he went on to say ‘now my soul is troubled, and what should I say, “Father, save me from this hour.”’ Knowing that the point of no return had been reached, that the way ahead led to ridicule, rejection, torture and execution, of course Jesus’ heart would be troubled.

Or in John 13, immediately after the foot-washing as he declared that one of his own would betray him, we are told once more that he was troubled in spirit... when would it happen, how would it happen…

It seems to me that Jesus knows exactly what it is he wants to counter.  The dry mouth, the feeling in the pit of the stomach, the numbess, the disbelief, the anger, the bewilderment, the certain uncertainy, the agony, the sleeplessness... For me, that is incredibly comforting and reassuring.

And in the midst of his own agony and helplessness, to all intents and purposes a dying man, he says to those closest to him, 'it'll be all right, please don't agonise over this or me, I'm just going on ahead of you...'

The image of many dwellings, many abodes within the range of the Father's estate, is a beautiful and hopeful one.  Of course believing (in) Jesus doesn't stop us experiencing fear or grief or anxiety, but it does rob them off their power to overwhelm us.  In the that 'tracing rainbows through the rain' way we can cling, even if only by our finger nails, to the hope he offers.

Do not let grief, worry, fear, loss, anxiety... whatever it is... overwhelm you: trust me when I say that I am going ahead to make all things ready for you.  None of this has the last word, and one day, all will be well.