Today's PAYG was a familiar New Testament story - Jesus healing a man of a spirit that had rendered him mute, and those who saw this accusing Jesus of driving out evil spirits in the power of Satan/Beelzebub.  What struck me was not the idea of literally muteness but rather that of metaphorical muteness - of having no voice, of being unable to speak up or out.

One possible understanding of the man's condition would be what is nowadays called 'selective mutism' whereby a person ceases to speak, usually as a result of trauma.  And that was what sparked my train of thought really.  Not just people who literally cease to speak, but people and groups who cease to speak up or speak out, who cease to particpate in the 'dialogue' of life or society because it has proved too traumatic, too painful, too costly.

It made me think about the contexts where I fall silent and fail to speak the truths that matter to me, and why that is - insecurity, lack of confidence, fear of rejection and so on.

In the story, Jesus gave the man back his voice, he was able to speak.  It is a story of liberation as much, if not more, than one of healing.  It is not necessarily the case that the man's vocal chords were repaired or his larynx renewed, maybe he was just released from being extremely tongue-tied, given permission and confidence to articulate his thoughts, freed from the binding of fear, anixety, guilt or trauma that had silenced him.

So, if we as the church are meant to continue the work of Jesus, how do we give voice to those who cannot speak?  Not, how can we speak on their behalf, though that is valauble as a step along the way, but how can we free them, empower them, to speak for themselves?

I guess if we did that the 'powers that be' might not be so keen, might think that we are involved in some kind of 'dark arts' giving speech to 'those people'.  Maybe afterall, we need first to be set free ourselves, healed of our own selective mutism, and only then can we do the same for others.

PAYG posed the question, 'what do you think the first thing you would say might be if you were the man?'  I think that's a REALLY good question to mull over, and as i discover my own anwer, it may shape the way I relate to other people.

I have long known that the story of missionaries wives, largely unknown or unheard, is one of huge personal sacrifice, often unto to death in far away places.  The romantic tales of derring-do (however that is meant to be spelled) of Dr Livingstone, Mr Carey and others overshadow the often tragic reality faced by the wives they took with them and the children they fathered.

This morning, digging a little deeper into the story of the first BMS missionary to Sri Lanka, James Chater, whose wife, Anne gets passing mention in BMS's necessarily brief history on their website, I came across two obituaries to her.  She ran a school on Sri Lanka and had already given birth to ten children and was again pregnant at the time physicians ordered her to return to the UK for the sake of her health.  Two of her sons had already died on their journey to the UK to be educated at boarding school, and seven children travelled with her towards the UK (I don't know what happened to the tenth child).  During the journey it became clear she would give birith imminently, so she was landed, with her two youngest children, gave birth to twins and died a dew days later.  Her surviving children ranged from nine years old downwards - the poor woman must have permanently pregant, no wonder she died from exhaustion.

I haven't found an obituary for Rev Chalmers, all I know is that when he left Sri Lanka to return to the UK a few years alter, he too died en route.  Of their children I know nothing.

In 2013 there is an established Baptist work in Sri Lanka, and the one remaining Baptist school appears to be highly regarded - this is the 'good treasure' handed on to our generation by those who went to take the Good news to Sri Lanka.

I am glad that there are extended obituaries for Anne Chater (here and here) which give us just the tiniest glimspe into the reality of what it meant to be a missionary wife.  Having just last week remidned ourselves of the call to sacrificial living, there stories are epseically challenging to our lives of middle class ease.

Among my favourite hymns is Frances Ridley Havergal's 'Take my life', which is simultaneously holistic, referring to the whole of life, and challenging – I can never sing it and feel comfortable afterwards!

The lines "take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose" resonate with the theme 'mission of the mind' – God gave us minds, intellects, brains for one good reason – to employ them!  In my experience, all too often Christians downplay the role of the mind in favour of a skewed understanding of the Spirit, confusing emotional response with authenticity, and being suspicious of inquiry or questioning.  In my twenties, in order to 'belong', I stopped questioning and suppressed views that did not seem to fit with the version of Christianity I was experiencing.  It was only after God's call to ordained ministry that I discovered the liberating potential of theological thinking – and that my questions and ideas were valid within the spread of orthodoxy (rats, I always liked being a heretic!).

I remain grateful to Scripture Union Bible reading notes for a little (maybe slightly trite) rhyme that has stayed with me through the years:

If we are all mind, we dry up,

If we are all spirit, we blow up,

If we are mind and spirit, we grow up.

It is not an 'either/or' but a 'both/and'.  To mature as Christians we need to employ our intellects properly, to engage with topics that discomfit us, to ponder possibilities that seem alien to the comfortable version of Christianity we experience week in, week out (whatever label we choose to use for ourselves).  The prospect of 'Catalyst Live' really excites me and I booked my ticket months ago!  The chance to feast on the ideas of some great theologians, the opportunity to stretch my intellect and wrestle with ideas, the gift of listening for God's still small voice amidst the clamour of church life…. Yes please!

One day, a few years back, one of my church folk commented on my continued study, "surely you know all there is to know by now".  The quest for understanding, the desire to learn and grow, the need to stretch my mind, is part of my discipleship, my spirituality, my call – "take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee."  Holistic discipleship, heart and mind, body and spirit – I want to be part of that.

‘Mission of the Mind’ is the theme of Catalyst Live, a day of engaging speakers from the worlds of apologetics, theology, science and culture, organised by BMS World Mission. To book tickets for Manchester (27 November) or Reading (28 November) go to http://www.bmscatalystlive.com/

Yesterday and today I have been doing background work for Sunday's harvest thanksgiving, which is supporting both Operation Agri and Glasgow City Mission (GCM).  As part of my research I looked at the BMS website to find out the history of their mission links to Sri Lanka (going back over 200 years) and both GCM and LCM (1826 and 1835 respectively.  Perversely I learned more about GCM's pioneering work from LCM's website than from it's own, go figure; you can read about Naismith, Scot and founder of LCM here).

I really enjoyed what I read, sketchy as it was, and was reminded of the import of reading history which not only informs our present but has potential shape our future.

Good fun.  Why not go and read some church, denominational or mission history yourselves?

'Catalyst' as the name for a day conference is popular in Baptist circles just now.

In Scotland there is a day conference on human sexuality bearing the title 'Catalyst Scotland' and in England there are two one-day conferences (in Manchester and Reading) organsied by BMS called 'Catalyst Live' which will explore a whole range of topics with some top international theologians - Jurgen Moltmann for one.

I won't be going to the Scottish one, I am sure many people will, and will find it helpful, but it's not for me.  It's a topic I've wrestled with on and off for at least 15 years and eventually reached a place where I wasn't going to wait for my head to catch up with my heart.  If that makes me a heretic or doomed, well I'm in incredibly good company.

I am going to the BMS one, and I really excited about it.  Can't say more today, as I am one of five Baptist bloggers who have been invited to post about it, and my day is tomorrow.  Finding the links to the blogs on the Catalyst site demands a lot of digging, but you can find them here.  One blog a day for a week - so look out for mine tomorrow, here and there.

You can find out more about BMS Catalyst Live here.