There has been a lot of talk recently about 'core competencies' for ministers, causing various repsonses among those involved in training, pastoring and employing said persons.  Not long after I left college, one of my former tutors asked if there was anything obvious I hadn't had opportunity to think about whilst at college.  My answer then, and I adhere to it now, was that without being able to see into the future we cannot know what might have been helpful.  It would have been nice not to have had to study the BU guidelines on asbestos during my first year in pastorate, but it hardly features high on the list of training priorities!  My past life skills enabled me to write the ALARP assessment for the insurance company on our low level glass (if you don't understand that, believe me, you don't want to!  If you do, you will appreciate the amusing and ridiculous aspects of risk assessment).  After almost two years in pastorate, I still remind my congregation that I did not study either mind-reading or how to do miracles, but on the whole I think I do a good enough job and was adequately prepared.

Having read various people's thoughts on this core competency thing, I was reminded of the following which although a few years old, still raises a smile and has a ring of truth...

The Perfect Minister preaches for exactly 15 minutes - he condemns sin but never upsets anyone.

She works from 8.00 a.m. until midnight and is also a good caretaker. He receives slightly more than the minimum wage established by the government, pays his taxes, wears good clothes, never looks shabby, keeps his library up to date, entertains regularly, drives a new car and gives £x,ooo a year to the poor and to the congregation.

She is 28 – 30 years old and has approximately 25 - 30 years experience in the ministry.

He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with senior citizens.

The Perfect Minister smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humour that keeps him seriously dedicated at all times to the work.

She makes daily calls on church families, shut-ins, and those in hospital.

He spends all of his time evangelising the un-churched and is always in the office when needed.

As for the rest of us... well we try (oh yes, I can be very trying!)