I am not sure if I should post this in blogland, where the whole world can read it, risking the possibility that the good people of Dibley and District will find it and misunderstand it. I have debated deleting it or permanently saving it as a draft. But then if we only post good stuff we become complicit in a culture that denies the reality of the negative, so, with apologies to any who find it and offended, here it is.
Last night our diaconate and the diaconate of D+1 met to talk about 'next steps' in our disucssions, following on from the meeting in September. Our folk had worked hard, and even got our members to discuss and agree some proprosals for a way forward, which we tabled. All D+1 wanted to talk about was buildings. This for them is the most important, most urgent topic. All our talk about mission, about vision, even about God's guiding and Christ's mind was of less important than the bricks and mortar.
I'll be polite, I'll say I was disappointed. I felt we were accused of rushing them to make impossible decisions (we asked that eachchurch formally commit to a merger process and, as part of that, for a commitment to agree to decide within the ~12 months that might take to work through, what they would do with their building as part of a merger). I felt that there really was no common understanding of why we were engaged this process and that our friends really wanted to carry on as they are, knowing that within a matter of years they'll almost all be dead. I came away discouraged and cynical - and unsettled and uncertain. Indeed I was so wound up I literally bit a hole in my tongue while eating a chocolate biscuit by way of consolation!
When, oh when, will people get their heads around the fact that a church is NOT a building. Grrrr!
(Well, I feel marginally better now - blogging as catharthis?!)
Comments
I'm sure I have said before that the community I am part of is what you might lovingly call a "church amalgamation". There are a few things I have noticed and your post reminded me of them.
Buildings cause no end of problems. Especially when one community (as in my case) moves in with the other.
Hurt is easily caused and difficult to heal. I would have never believed how two Christian communities separated by less than a mile could have such different views on practice and organisation. I came to the church 10 years after the amalgamation and it didn't take me long to tell which community people originated from, just by talking to them about their faith! We are now approximately 14 years away from the amalgamation and people still struggle to forgive each other for unintentional attitudes and actions. It's shocking!
I sometimes wonder what would have happened if the two communities had seen decline as an opportunity for re-imagination of mission and practice rather than a threat to the existence of the "Church". Two new communities could have emerged and been in a better place for it!
Steven Croft in "Transforming Communities" has some helpful observations about Christian community practice and church amalgamations. Must stop waffling and go and preparesome carol services!