Ah, the joys of rehearsing the Girls' Brigade nativity play. On the whole, our cast of 20 give or take are doing well, some parts have had to be re-cast because their actors have decided to drop out in favour of watching TV, and I have a newly appointed sheep (there is a limit to how many shepherds or angels I can cope with!) who cannot seem to grasp that sheep have four legs not two, and that she should not walk on her hind legs behind the shepherd...
Lots of surreptitious leaders' laughter tonight as rehearsals got underway.
Firstly there is the would-be leading lady who wanted to be s shepherd then changed to a speaking part as potential buyer for the donkey - "she's too quiet" - and, with true drama queen overacting, mimes everyone else's role from the back row of the 'ensemble.' Her version of an angel saying 'go to Bethlehem' was seriously scary - another leader saying she looked like a mad axe murderer from a third rate movie. I'd love to get inside her head and discover how she imagines herself as she fiercely gestures the shepherds on their way, seemingly on pain of being smitten by some dreadful curse.
Then there is feminist Mary. Rising six, all blonde hair and blue eyes, and the only volunteer we had for the part. Towards the end of the play the oldest girl has to double as the innkeeper and carry a chair onto the stage for her to sit on. Alas said innkeeper was a little slow, and found herself being berated by the diminutive Mary who grabbed the chair herself and pulled it centre stage. You could not write such a part - you would not dare!
When the real thing happens in a few weeks time I know the parents will coo over their little ones, and I will cringe at the errrors. But I also know that the girls will have a good time and gain from this space where everyone gets a part in the play; the sheep that walks on its hind legs, ASBO would-be angel and a feminist Mary all add to the richness of the experience. The final song "all to see a tiny child" seems to sum up what it's about - if we can catch a glimpse of what God did in Jesus all that time back, then it'll be all the more worthwhile.