(Or however one may choose to spell said foodstuff)

Shock horror!  Yesterday I ran out of porridge oats (I have some lovely jumbo ones for flapjack but they don't seem to 'work' for porridge) so nipped to the local convenience store to get some.  All they had was the Oat So Simple lazy person's variety aimed at microwaving your porridge - sacrilege!  However, there were instructions for proper stove-top cooking so I followed them and made a bowlful of just about passable porridge.

What fascinated me was the marketing that allows a firm to put 1/3 cup portions of porridge oats in sealed paper sachets and then put ten in a box and sell it for far more than a box of the identical oats would cost (check the ingredients list!) and then give different cooking instructions for the same stuff.  According to the Quaker Oats box, you add the oats to cold liquid, bring to the boil and simmer for 4 minutes (authentic Gorton porridge as made by my Glasgow trained mother!); according to the cheats porridge, you boil the milk, add the oats and simmer for 2 minutes.  Intruiguing.

Anyway, for the record, Gorton porridge is dead easy - one part oats, three parts liquid (water, milk or a mixture, to taste; I use skimmed milk), put in a pan, bring to the boil stirring all the time, simmer for 4-5 minutes and serve immediately.  I like it as it is, but you can add salt, sugar, golden syrup or milk, or anything else that appeals.

Now over to the real Scots for the finest porridge recipes... and of course a theology of porridge (and please no one quote that grace about cornflakes!).