I'm intrigued (in a good way) at this...as I always are at your pastoral reflections - do you think there's a connect here between food and prayer. Do you think its in the act of eating that relaxs people and then more open to pray aloud. You see I'm trying to think of ways to get some older ladies to pray who just aren't used to open prayer - any suggestions?

I too introduced a prayer breakfast followed by prayer which is led by various people. we have a steady 10 attending (out of 40), mostly deacons but some others as well.
I think food is important - It seems to me that is the sucess factor in Alpha - (not the teaching!)
I just wish I could get people together more often - our bi-monthly fellowship meetings to discuss and dream and dream dreams (instead of a business meeting - I hate that term and its ideology!) follow a bring and share lunch after mornng service - a good time to talk and reflect!

Doing practical things (place a stone, light a candle) with a 'word' said can break the ice for some.

Hi Lucy,
I'd have to start by saying it has taken four years to get to this stage.

I began when I arrived here with six weeks of lunchtime prayers for Lent. I used a David Adams liturgy and inserted time for open prayer (about 5 minutes) and 'topped and tailed' the half hour 'reflection tiome' with recorded instrumental music, usually 'secular' classical. When we reached Easter I was asked if I'd do it again for Advent. And so a tradition was born!

Yesterday, I explained before we started the somewhat different format, and said it didn't matter if we sat in silence, so long as it wasn't an embarrassed silence. I have always reminded people that one sentence prayers are fine and that God can untangle our jumbled thoughts. Indeed some of prayers are hilariously awful to listen to, which maybe releases others to try. Yesterday I also said that if I felt we'd run out of steam, then I'd draw things together and we'd move on. Better five mintues of earnest prayer than thirty of deathly silence and sour pious faces! Also, silence can be healthy and we need to learn not to fear it - sometimes I check my watch to ensure it isn't overly long but also that I'm not panicing after 10 seconds!

Like Julie, I find that people relax better and know what's happening if there is a way of symboliscally marking the moment we start and/or end. Usually with my folk I use some quite music - usually intruemntal, sometimes praise songs, sometimes secular followed by a short prayer, either by me or a printed one we say together. Yesterday I read a psalm as well. At the end, espeically with older folk, I tend to use the Lord's Prayer as it is theologically a fantastic, complete pattern prayer and it also tends to make them feel it's 'proper' (my mother who is in her 70s really struggles with services that don't include it, so she'd hate most of mine!).

Sometimes I use symbols, sometimes I get people to 'do' symbolic things like holding stones, eating grapes, looking at pictures. Over time they have grown accumstomed to this. One of my favourites is 'pray dough' - salt dough, plasticene, playdough or even air drying clay - from which people fashion objects or shapes as they pray silently and then, if they choose, share something of what they are expressing. This, as other sue fo symbols, can be freeing when prayers are intensely personal and people are afraid of articulating them verbally.

As for food - well Jesus seemed to like it! The sociologists an dsuch like are big on the sharing of food as an important social thing, and I certainly find that even the shyest people will talk more if they can stare into their soup or at their gooey bun! I have had some good pastoral conversations over the sink, have seen peple learn to care for each other a little more tenderly during meals, and so on.

It is hard work, and sometimes it ends up as Catriona's soliloquay to God, but overall it seems a positive way forward.

Like Julie, I think the food and fellowship aspect of Alpha is one of its great strengths - and certainly people talk about the mealslong after they've forgotten about the teaching.

A word to the wise though - don't let them bully you into making all the soup yourself! That was a trap I fell into after being told off for using cartons from the supermarket one week four years ago!!!

Hope that's of some use. Have fun with your senior ladies!!!

I also forgot to say that I've had to learn to live with some very horizontal prayers - 'dear God we pray for Mrs Thingummy who lives at 21 Any Street who I saw yesterday and she said she was felling a bit under the weather....' - and those which tellme how fantastic their prayer life is (unlike mine which is dire, so I keep quiet!) - 'Dear Lord we thank thee that we pray to you night and morning every day.'

I find it is better to model what I think are real prayers than either explain that actually God knows where Mrs Thingy lives and how often we pray or, as is sometimes a realtmeptation, enter in the 'counter-prayer' when I feel I can't say 'amen' to someone else's.

All good fun!

I also give structure to prayer sessions using readings/ meditations to give sections - partly to try and show that prayer is not just about intercession but also praise about who God is, thankfulness, confession and yes, intercessions - we have used local/national papers,
I give advance warning of structure or we get praise of one line and straightinto intercessions. I also use silence and listening and say that is alsp an important part of prayer - otfen with a candle or picture to focus on.
This week we talked about our sins (not an easy subject in prayer at end)each person had a candle and asked to blow it out when they had made their confession with God - room was soon in darkness but I lit a cnalde to remind us of Christ and forgiveness and people them re-lit their candle when they felt forgiven and light returned - some found this helpful

Good point Julie - people often do shopping list prayers, and it is good somethimes to reflect on the tendencies in our own prayer lives/styles. My lot are far better, for example, at praying for the world in general than about praying about our direction as a church.

Some other helpful things I've used are the old ACTS and teaspoon (tsp) and STOP structures often used with children. These can be equally well used with adults.

For confession we have used a shredder (a bit noisy and everyone knows you're doing it!) but it is less easy to find a matching asusrance of pardon symbol.

I often find peple are better at 'thanks' than 'praise' but maybe that is partly semantics by one who has studied theology?! In other words, we are quite good at saying thank you for what God does, but less able to celebrate who God is.

There are loads of 'multi-sensory' type books and leaflets out there, so if you're stuck for ideas or something doens't work, have a look. I think, but am not sure, that there is a Gove leaflet written by a Baptist on this sort of thing - which means if folk don't like it you can blame the powers that aren't!

I'd say don't be afraid to experiment BUT (and anyone who was in Manchester in my day will understand this) don't cram too many symbols, actions, bits of liturgy and what not into one session.

Lastly, thinking especially of your older ladies - I sometimes encourage people to bring a printed prayer from a book or one they have written ahead of time (what used to be called 'preapred extempore' in some circles) affirming its equal authenticity. Once poeple have gained the confidence to hear their own voice reading a prayer, they are better able to develop the courage to pray extempore spontaneously.

Thank you Julie and Catriona, some good tips - will try to use some of these. One at a time might be best though! Tomorrow I shall try a little more liturgy in prayer so everyone gets used to hearing their own voices in a service, something which still seems quite daunting for some.

One at a time sounds very wise, and some liturgy is definitely a good way to start praying our loud.

Have fun!