Is there a theological distinction between 'separation' and 'divorce' such that the former does not (sic) 'dishonour Christ's church' but the latter does? I don't think there is, I think this is western, secular, legal definitions being snapped up by sincere but struggling individuals to give themselves a get out clause when their theology and experience don't match up.
In the case of either of the above (because there is a practical/legal distinction even if not a theological one) how should the church respond - as discipline or pastoral concern? My leaning is pastoral in aim but practically similar in outworking - viz that the person should be given 'time out' from any roles or responsibilities to work through what is occurring in their life, to re-evalaute and then, once the dust has settled to pick things up if that is judged the right way forward.
What does anyone else think? I am treading a tightrope with my folk as this one affects our congregation - just one more little storm for us to weather!
Comments
No answer for you, but I can't help wondering whether a similar question could be asked of marriage in the first place.
(Found you on Andy's list of Baptist Bloggers.)
Hello Trevor - welcome to my corner of blogworld!
I think that the same question could indeed be asked about marriage - and in some circles has been asked - and quite a lot of churches in practice choose not to think about it. Trouble is it is easier to make pronouncements than to wrestle with theological complexities, easier to read 'UK law = Bible' than actually see what the Bible does/n't say, less scary to invent 'get out clauses' than to admit that in a broken world we find that what seems good in the abstract does not work in reality.
I think its called 'pastoral pragmatism' - I least that's what the principal of my college called it!
Can't we say.. "Divorce isn't good, but neither a loveless or abusive marriage"?
I hear the pain though... and we have had to face it here. I think that about 25% of my congregation are divorced. One Sunday I preached on the passage where Jesus said "You divorce because of hard hearts" I thought I had trod the line between the seriousness of marriage and the grace of God but all HELL broke loose after the service! Still, brining it out into the open really helped. I felt that we had aired the issues and some people have been able to move on.
Good luck, I'm praying for you.
Yeah, I hate the automatic conflation of Christian marriage and the legal institution of marriage. I can't see any positive social impact associated with the legal institution and occasionally it's incredibly damaging. But a public display of loving commitment followed by the continual outworking of that commitment is a wonderful thing. I can't help thinking that by connecting the two we're giving undue credibility to the former (and stopping ourselves from criticising it) as well as underselling the latter.
I also worry that conflating the two makes a theology of commitment more easily reducible to a binary state of "married" or "unmarried" which is only to do with a one-time event and not to do with everyday actions.
Thanks all for your thoughts. I think the way we have found through is adequately pastoral and gentle.
I doubt most of my people have ever really thought deeply about any of this - and when one of them cites UK marriage Law as the Bible I come close to despair! Also some of them seemed very surprised by the idea that any Baptist church anywhere might see a need to discuss the topic or have a view on how to handle it - is that good or bad?!
Like Graham, I think I've found my attempts to tip toe through the minefield have left me cast as villain, but hey, it's part of the job!