Every now and then a minister will, tongue in cheek, cite 1 Timothy 7:!7 which, in the KJV, so it must be right (!), says, 'Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine' as the reason by he or she (usually he, it has to be said) ought to be paid more or given more time off. It is certainly the case that when I talk to people outside church they are often shocked to discover what ministers are paid. I'm not complaining, I knew what I was getting into, and compared to some in this country, never mind overseas, I am comfortably off. But this text came back to mind last night at our churches together meeting, at which I was the only minister present, and the chairperson said to my people 'I hope you're paying her well, she's worth two.' Well, I guess compared to the experience of our Methodists who get one fifth of a minister, maybe I am.
And then I got thinking about why most ministers are so bad at receiving compliments and why, on the whole, we are so bad at showing our appreciation for/to them. This week has felt very strange because the compliments have been flooding in - well there've been about half a dozen anyway - but all of them have come from outside my own fellowship. So why is that? Why is it easier to say something encouraging to those outside our churches (or families) than those inside? Is there a sense of taken-for-grantedness that means we no longer see how blessed we are? Is it because it is easier to see the failings of those we know better? Or is it that we see ourselves as the employers of these people and that you just don't thank people for doing what they're paid to do? (Though my experience in industry was that I did get thanked for doing what I was paid to do...)
So, where does this leave me? I think I have to learn to be better at accepting praise when it comes, and some of it this week has been quite amazing. And I think that we as churches need to learn to be a little more open in expressing our appreciation of those whose work is to labour among us 'especially preaching and teaching'. Perhaps if we could manage two compliments to every one criticism, our ministers (and others) would all feel more valued.
As an aside, this week I heard that having a 'A' level in Maths should boost your earning potential by an average of 10% over a lfietime. Since I have one - and some degree level maths as well - maybe I can claim to deserve 2.2 times the honour?!
Comments
Of course, there's all that stuff about where prophets are most without honour... I wonder, though, if people feel awkward, as if they'll come across as false or smarmy if they're forever saying nice things about someone in a position of 'authority'. I was surprised at just how vehement I got when someone tried to put complimentary comments about me on the church website. Somehow it touched something very raw in me, which was most unexpected and not easy to articulate sensibly.
Which isn't at all to say the godly practice of building each other up should be allowed to atrophy out of embarrassment.
But maybe a heartfelt and well-deserved compliment really is easier to pay to someone you're in less than daily contact with, because its motives will feel less open to misinterptretation.