This coming week definitely has a focus on ministers. Most of my peers from college will be attending their five year refresher course, those of us who settled 'late' have to wait another year, such are the vagaries of any system based on dates so that a 2003 ordination doesn't automatically make one a 2003 minister as it is induction dates that count. I am no longer annoyed about this (though can feign a fine sulk!), but still a little sad that these people with whom I shared the highs and lows of college life, and with whom I was 'handshaked' are now perceived as a year 'older' than I, and that I will perforce refresh with relative strangers a year out of sync. Perhaps I should have made a fuss about it, but that would not have been to be 'me.' I hope to catch up with them albeit briefly as I arrive at the same venue for our Association ministers' conference just as they finish.
Our ministers' conference - like others I'm sure - is a special place for ministers where, as diverse in theology and personality as we are (and we ARE diverse, trust me), we can share time together. It isn't a totally 'safe' space but it is 'safe enough' and manages never to descend into little huddles of fundies in one corner and liberals in another. This year I am again responsible for the quiet room, which is an interesting blend of fun and freedom and responsibility and restraint all at once. Trying to create something will stretch but not offend, will engage and not alienate, will connect with but not duplicate the main sessions is something I both relish and fear. I am looking forward to hearing what our speakers have to say, and I'm also looking forward to praying with and for other ministers, some I know well, some I meet once a year. I am less looking forward to being called 'dear' and getting demands for extra towels, alterations to name badges or being expected to know and understand everything there is to know and understand about The Hayes, Swanwick, Alfreton and north east Derbyshire in general. One of my most profound memories - and I share this tentatively - was the year I led the closing communion service - when a lay pastor, whose theology frankly terrifies me, came to me and asked, quietly if were using grape juice or wine because he is a recovering alcoholic. I was deeply humbled by the honesty and vulnerability of this person, and felt it was indicative of the depth of security that he felt safe enough to ask rather than opting out. For the record, we use grape juice (usually with a common cup). If you happen to know the person, please don't embarrass him, if you don't please don't try to guess who he is; as for me, I was challenged and changed by this experience (in a good way!). So, I am looking forward to Wednesday to Friday.
A minister's funeral. Tuesday is an early morning drive almost to Heathrow airport to be a vicar - in the true sense of the word - a vicarious representative of my little church at the funeral of one of my predecessors. I don't think I ever met him, he'd been and gone from here whilst I was still a school girl, and he only ever held two pastorates, a six year one here and a lifetime one there. It is intriguing pondering the role I am taking, its necessity (at least in my mind) and its implications for me, for them, for us. I suspect ministers are always a little intrigued by other minister's funerals, knowing the funny mixture of flawed disciples and public figures that we all are. As with the annual In Memoriam at Baptist Assembly, I find myself drawn to imagining the hours spent writing sermons, the times when meetings drove him nutty (and when they were great!) the God-moments, the dark days, the highs and lows, joys and sorrows. It feels right to be there, to say that in Dibley he is not forgotten, and to thank God for what he did with and for us.
Refreshment and rest seem to be the words for the next week, then. Refreshment of skills and knowledge for some, the refeshment of time away for others, rest to be be strengthened to go back to work or rest for eternity after a lifetime of service. The week will be blog light (no bad thing) and thought 'heavy.' I hope to see some of you gentle readers at some point during the week - just please don't ask me what time the bar at the Hayes closes cos I don't know!