An abortive attempt at a sermon, a walk to the bank, the ordering of some 200 Christmas crackers, and various degrees of mulling later, I think I have some thoughts...

An honest grief - a grief that does not pretend everything is alright when it clearly isn't, that acknowledges pain, questions, regrets, doubts, whatever it may be, for that person at that time.

A hopeful grief - a grief that sees death not as the end but as part of something else, that, despite the pain etc., looks beyond itself not in a pious, pie-in-the-sky way, but trusts in God's promises

A joyful grief - joy is not the same as happiness, but it is a quality that allows for smiles and laughter, celebration and remembering, whilst avoiding false cheerfulness

A mysterious grief - a grief that recognises that death is a mystery, that we cannot fully know what follows, that we can never really understand what happens, but we know (intuitively?) that something is going on.  Linked with hope, we know that ultimately all will be well

A timely grief - a grief that is expressed at the right time, not being repressed or suppressed but also not being measured according to some psychological scheme with phases and timings.  It does its 'work' and does not ensnare or damage.

A shared grief - if we take seriously the idea of community, of our interconnectedness in the 'Body of Christ' then we must grieve together on some sense.

A healing grief - that somehow in the honesty, hope, joy, mystery, timeliness and sharing we find wholeness and liberation so that we can continue to live life in all its fullness.

Still not a sermon, and needs some careful work to make it useable, but getting there, I think.