Last night's Rev was, for me, quite thought provoking, exploring the idea of clergy envy.  Adam is envious of the radio and TV vicar with whom he trained.  Late at night after one too many at Adam's vicarage, the media vicar admits his own loneliness and emptiness.  Granted he returns to type at the end of the episode (an utterly predictable final scene).  Two real themes: envy of the seemingly successful minister/ministry and loneliness/isolation of the ministerial office.

I guess I'm fortunate not to suffer from envy, at least not very much, I did at one point wonder if I'd ever get a Baptism when the church down the road seemed to have droves of them!!  Similarly, I rarely feel lonely or isolated but of course it happens, it is an occupational hazard.  What the episode disclosed was some of the inherent dishonesty that pervades the church - that few dare admit their loneliness, emptiness, envy, feeling of failure or whatever.  Instead, all too often gatherings become the 'my church is better than yours' or 'I pray longer than you do' bragging leaving the tired, dried out, hardworking small, shrinking or stable-sized church minister feeling useless and alone.

One of the themes explored in the university summer school was 'truth as pure honesty.'  There are (at least) two problems with this... firstly no one ever is that honest  and secondly no truth is ever pure and uninterpreted (I recalled a Susan Howatch character in the Starbridge series who wanted 'unvanrished truth' - there's no such animal).  At college our pastoral care/theology tutor used a concept of 'appropriate vulnerability' which is probably a useful foil for 'pure honesty.'  If ministers can learn to practice 'appropriately vulnerable honesty' with each other then I suspect the envy, isolation and a whole host of other struggles might be less pernicious.

I am very glad of my networks of Revs, mainly VIKs but not only, with whom something of that is attempted, even if we may not always fully succeed.

There are many hurt and hurting 'vicars' out there, I pray they may find safe-enough spaces to be vulnerable and honest.