Having driven around 800 miles in the last couple of days I have read a lot of motorway signs, notably the 'matrix' signs that now appear bearing assorted messages.

Somewhere between Gretna and Carlise is one that reads

AVOID DISTRACTIONS WHILE DRIVING

I like the way this self contradicts - you have to be distracted in order to read it.  So what other daft signs did I see?

OBSERVE SPEED LIMIT

WATCH YOUR SPEED

I know what these two mean, but as they stand thay are a tad daft, 'oh look there's a speed limit' or 'oh look I'm doing 70.'  I thought you were supposed to watch the road but still.

DON'T DRIVE TIRED

I drive a car myself...

COMPLY WITH RED X

This one confused me momentarily because I thought of Redex a product I used to add to petrol every now and then to care for the A-series engine in my first Metro.  Of course it meant, if there is a red X above the lane you are in don't drive in it, it's closed.  No lane was closed but just in case...

THINK BUS OR TRAIN

Why?

Some were less amusing

DON'T DRINK WHILE DRIVING

DON'T RESET SATNAV WHILE DRIVING

SOFT TYRES WASTE FUEL

BE A COURTEOUS DRIVER

Jx 15 MILES 14 MINS

And some thankfully wrong

CONJESTION J8 30MINS DELAY

The two I didn't see which always amuse were

SLOW WORKFORCE IN ROAD

Usually replaced these days with

WORKFORCE IN ROAD-SLOW

What's a road-slow?

Anyone else seen any daft or amusing signs?

I have been watching Celebrity Masterchef over recent weeks and have been fascinated, amused and entertained.  As I recall it, in one of the heats, Christine Hamilton observed that hell would freeze over before she got to the final.  Last night she was named as a finalist.  In which case Old Nick must be afraid, very afraid.  I should that be was afraid?  Afterall it's all recorded ages before it appears and the miraculaous healings that occur to burned and cut hands indicate how long really elapses between the 'days'.  So has hell already frozen over?  And is the Evil One left ice skating on some weird kind of ice?  All very daft, but it entertained me - and made me eager for her to progress to check out her prophetic and thautmaturgical credentials!! Yup, I finally flipped.