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Absent Friends

Earlier this week I posted that a friend had died suddenly of a heart attack and another had been diagnosed with secondary cancer.  I got home from church today to the news that, this morning, the second of these had died today, just a couple of weeks after her secondary diagnosis.  Neither these, not the third person I mentioned, are/were close friends, but friends nonetheless.  People with whom I'd shared laughter and banter, who put me right when I was out of line, who lived fully and loved generously.

Today's news is extra hard - this was someone whose breast cancer diagnosis was a few months after mine, and whose prognosis, on paper, was as good or better.  In less than two years, her journey has ended, and I pray she is now at peace, free from pain.

Learning to live with this kind of uncertainty, befriending people and knowing that sooner or later this kind of news will arise, is demanding, but I wouldn't have it any other way, not now, not knowing these people who share of themselves, freely and unstintingly.

To be honest, these deaths have not caused me fear or anxiety for myself, but deep sadness for their families and frineds.  Nowadays I have litte tolerance for, what I perceive to be, pettyness, selfishness or stupidity.  It is an old cliche to say 'live each day as if it were your last' or even 'carpe diem', yet the further I walk the path of NEDness the stronger, not weaker, that sense becomes.  It is always the case that, 'there but for the grace of God go I'.


RIP A, RIP K, may your families find release and comfort now, and may their memories of you inspire them to live life fully.


  • So sorry, Catriona. You're right, living after a cancer diagnosis changes your whole way of looking at things.

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