This morning was the annual Coffee Club carols - back on home turf after a couple of years out in community (where we weren't made all that welcome, it has to be said!).

Always fun - people call out their choices and I mangle the tunes on a piano that would mangle them anyway as several notes no longer work!

It is always just a tad bittersweet though - the first time we did it I was still going through chemo and wondering "will there be a next Christmas".  Now at the fifth Christmas since diagnosis, and nearing the four year check up point, I have proved to be one of the lucky ones.  But each year, as we gather and sing, I cannot help but remember.

Today, just an hour or so before we sang, came a text to let me know that one of my chemo-buddies died last night.  A new bittersweetness to this special moment in the year.  It wasn't unexpected, she'd been very ill for a while, but it is very sad, she was a good friend.

I've posted before the line from the old hymn, "I thank Thee, Lord, for life" which runs "and through it all, hopes star shall shine, and I shall have my song to sing."

For lots of families, Christmas is tinged with sadness, but the inextinguishable light of hope, the star in the darkness of loss, grief, pain, remorse, regret still shines brightly.

The photo is rather splendid panetone tree (or star stack!) that we enjoyed some of (along with warm mince pies) after our singing.  A wondrous thing.  Light and tasty and lightening the spirit.  A star of wonder, guiding us to the glorious light that is Christ Jesus.