It's one of the many things they don't teach you at Vicar School - what do you do after a funeral?

Interestingly, it is often my non-church friends who ask how I 'deal with' or 'process' the emotions, memories or whatever it is that are stirred up for me.

So here's a secret - I have some rituals that make it copable.

Part of the reason I "collar up" for funerals is that in so-doing I take on the persona of 'minister' and even, arguably, 'the church'... it is a sign to myself as much as anyone else that I am now 'in role', my professional head is on and I can do this.

After the service, after the committal or burial, after the 'tea' if I am invited, I go home, change into jeans and a sweatshirt, make a huge mug of tea, grab a few digestive biscuits (if there are any in the house) and take time just to blob.  If I happen to get home close to a meal time then it'll be beans on toast (or something similar) eaten on my knee, washed down with said huge mug of tea.

I don't do much if any active thinking, I just take time to be.

If the weather is suitable, and the workload permits (or if it doesn't but my inner need demands it)  I may go for a walk, look at the trees and plants, watch the birds, see life being lived in its ordinariness and so move on again.

Nothing clever, nothing overtly spiritual, but it does the job for me!