This morning I decided that as it was such a glorious day I would take myself off for a long walk, go somewhere nice and have coffee and/or lunch out (hence photo of coffee and scone!). I was conscious of having made rods for my own back, especially in relation to stuff I've blogged, and that sometimes that has proved problematic. I needed to clear my head, dump some rubbish and refresh my mind.
The last six weeks have seen me make a textbook recovery from my surgery... being boringly obedient has had excellent results, so much so that today I was able to walk a good 8.5 miles with no bother at all. The textbook nature of my experience also means that, suddenly, all the hormones in my body are utterly messed up, with effects, at least short term that aren't so great. I have at times felt unbelievably sad and at others equally unbelievably angry, neither with any obvious underlying cuase or justification. My instinctive reaction is to tell myself to pull myself together, to get over it and get on with it. Which works up to a point. But only up to a point. Sometimes I say things in ways that aren't helpful; other times I crumple and crumble in response to things I'd normally shrug off. Such feelings and experiences are, apparently, normal, textbook stuff, so I need to be kind to myself and allow my body time to adjust to the shock it's been given.
In the meantime, I'm reminded of a scene in the play "Pygmalion" where Henry is about to introduce Eliza to the Eynsford-Hills and tells his mother that everything will be fine, because he's told her to "stick to the weather and everyone's health". Whilst his mother sees folly even in this, the intent is right - stick to things that have the least chance of being contentious, of being misunderstood or badly expressed.
I think this is wise advice for me to follow. So for a while at least, I will be posting more carefully selected material, reducing, if not eliminating, the potential for me to open my mouth only to change feet.
For the last decade, this blog has been maionly "stream of consciousness" posting rather than refined reflection - an approach which has strengthes and weaknesses. It may now be time to review whether that practice is still wise, and/or how that impacts on what I chose to write about. Importnat stuff, and well worth pondering. Offline!
I had a lovely day out, fear I may actually have got slightly sunburned (!) and enjoyed some of may favourite places in Glasgow. Many moons ago my Ministry Mentor told me that sometimes I should just bunk off, it was good for the soul... doing so today certainly has been. :-)