One of the things that I have long valued is the stories behind hymns and worship songs.  Whether it is Victorian hymns that were born of tragedy (often it seems drownings and/or broken engagements) or contemporary worship songs born of struggle (identity, mental health, sexuality, bereavement) or world msuic that reflects a place or a person, knowing the story allows me to value and appreciate many songs/hymns that I actively dislike, or the theology of which disquiets me.  So, for example, I value 'Strength will rise' (written by someone experiencing severe depression) even though I don't like it; I appreciate 'Blest be the tie that binds' (the BWA anthem) even though I think it's mawkish.

Recently, I've been remembering and returning to songs that are part of my story.  I don't write songs, but I do find that songs (sacred and secular) attach themselves to significant times in my life, it's just the way I'm wired!

So today I decided I'd share one that was hugely significant as a source of hope and encouragement to me fifteen years ago, as I was leaving college and seeking a first pastorate!

Whenever I hear it, I recall the long drive from Manchester to Cambridge, accompanied by the 'Greatest Worship Songs in the World, Ever' (modest title!) on the tape player of my little metro.  It's a song of dedication, of trust, of hope in the waiting... and it encouraged and enabled me to live through a long season of waiting and wondering, disappointment and questioning. I still believe in my heart or hearts I was called to the church that said 'no', and I still believe with equal conviction that the pastorates that have followed were every bit as much God's call on my life.

The last time I asked for this song to be used in a service (many years ago now) I was told it wasn't known in that church, and so I haven't sung it for a very long time.

Gentle reader, you may or may not know it, you may or may not like it, but it's a song that's part of my story, so I offer it to today - and I wonder what are the songs that are part of your story, and when you last had or made the opportunity to listen to or to song them.

I realised recently that the last time I bought any 'vicar shirts' was a decade (or maybe a little more) ago, when I got the pale blue that I quite often wear for weddings.  I decided it was high time I bought a couple of new ones, not least as I do more frequently end up wearing them these days.

The company I used to buy from has long since ceased trading, so it was entertaining researching just what's out there - ranging from clergy dresses I could never imagine wearing, via long and short sleeve blouses in all sorts of colours and fabrics, to bib stocks (things that look like a clerical shirt under a jacket or jumper but are actually bibs with (in my view complex) strings to hold them in place).

These two arrived today - long sleeved because that's substantially cheaper then short sleeved (they take a long sleeved one and charge you to cut off and hem the sleeves) - and in colours chosen just because they are bright and fun.

Cerise (it's NOT pink unlike the one I already own which is Barbie pink) which looks almost episcopal, and teal, which I chose purely and simply because it's one of the colours I love, and is almost liturgical (not quite green but not a million miles away).

They won't get that many outings, but whether they'll do me for another decade is yet to be seen!  I probably need to think about getting a new black one as mine is starting to fade - but then it is quite elderly as such attire goes!