This morning, after I got home from my daily walk, and before I had breakfast, I took my last ever Tamoxifen tablet. Of course I knew this day was coming, had even been counting down to it, but didn't know how it might/would feel to be here.
I was surprised how significant it felt. Indeed, having snapped the photo above, I paused for a minute or two to reflect, with gratitude on this simple, inexpensive drug that has protected me for a full ten years.
Gratitude to the scientists who developed it.
Gratitude to the women who took part on clinical trials.
Gratitude to the licensing authorities that approved it.
Gratitude to the NHS who prescribed it.
I also took a moment to call to mind those absent friends for whom it was unsuitable or ineffective... too many women taken far too soon by a cruel unpredictable disease.
I took a moment to call to mind those friends/acquaintances who will never reach such a milestone, because, whilst treatable, their cancer is incurable.
I took a moment to call to mind those friends/acquaintances who aspire to a similar milestone moment.
To have reached this place, to cease to be classed as a 'cancer patient' (at least in a few weeks following one last mammogram, the appointment for which also arrived today) feels quite special and very privileged. Of course, I will always be subject to 'with your history' provisos and protocols; it is still entirely possible the cancer will come back to bite me; but for now I feel very blessed and very grateful.