Today, via the wonder that is Zoom, I was able to attend the 'release of covenant' service for a minister friend of mine.  It was a beautiful service, with a thoughtful sermon, some honest prayers, kind words and a lot of grace.  My cats chose to sit nearby through the whole service, and Sophie agreed to appear on screen briefly at the end.

What struck me most was the pastoral imperatives that we, as ministers, exercise in such moments, setting aside our own preferences in order to better serve those we are among.

Today's service began with a hymn that is very precious to me - used at my Baptism, my ordination, two of my induction services and one of my leaving services.  I didn't use it at my last leaving service because there were those who actively hated it; instead I chose hymns that had been meaningful to that pastorate, including one I don't really like (hate is too strong a word, I avoid it as much as possible).  So today it was both joy to sing the hymn I love, and reminder that pastoral imperatives must always outweigh my personal preferences in public worship.

The second hymn sung was one that I always find difficult to sing, because it expresses a level of confidence that I, in all honestly, can't promise to express - that on the day I die, in the final moments of life, I will be praising God.  I'd like to hope (theologically, determinedly) that I might, but I cannot be sure, so I cannot, do not, will not sing those lines.  I think God understands.  Pastoral imperatives to self-care, to know that it is okay, at least with God, to sing or not, say or not, claim or not...

The liturgy for release of covenant, words I created for use in the parting of ways with a church that had run out of money to pay me;  words that have been published and used in many different contexts (with or without tweaks, that's totally fine); words I used last year; words that today I heard/experienced as a guest at another ending.  I reckon they are okay, that I 'done good enough' in what I wrote fifteen years ago, that these words are inspired by a pastoral imperative and not just by my own own pain, hurt, regret, wondering and worrying.

It was a privilege to attend the service, to hear words of thanks and words of regret, words of pain and words of hope... pastoral imperatives are complicated to negotiate, and there are rarely 'right' answers, just responses that are 'good enough' and that, I believe, is okay with God.

This week I spent three days on retreat with staff and students from Vicar School.  It was interesting being in a role that was neither leader nor participant, but more what my Mum would probably have termed 'general factotum'.  I had a brilliant time, learned a lot about general factotuming, and, along with a colleague, have a delightful tale to tell of how we rescued a dog and a man from a cave (in truth neither was in any danger, but both need our help, and it's a great tale!).

Back home, the bites from the Cumbrian midges are at maximum itchiness, and I am totally wabbit, but I am looking forward to doing it all again in a year's time.

The image is a plaque on the wall of the chapel at Rydal Hall, where we stayed.  I like the truth it expresses, perhaps more bluntly than the Psalmist, that wherever we are, and however we are, God is there... and that is good. 

I looked up and realised I had spent about four hours checking, correcting, printing, folding and collating stuff for the vicar school retreat. Very grateful to Sasha for your quality checks!

Looking forward to some time spent away from computers and phones (at least mostly) and taking time simply to be rather than to do... at least as much as my job allows anyway!

Today I spent a little bit of time searching back through blog archives to find this photo (from May 2011) as it is me in my original 'Offensive'(TM) tee-shirt. (I know the photo is blurred as it's overstretched by the web platform; I have yet to track down the original from my files archive)

I am pondering putting together a proposal for a short submission to a symposium for which it'll be a useful image... alongside one from 2024 of the equivalent purple tee-shirt.

Watch this space!

As the academic year (at least term time) draws to is end, I am starting to reflect on how my 'normal' working patterns have panned out... 

Fair to say, it  hasn't been easy as both roles need flexibility in order to fit around the diverse needs of church and college.  It is even meaning that this year I'll be taking a major whack of my annual leave all on one month - not ideal on so many levels, but there we go.

Today is pretending to be Thursday (with a few Monday interruptions) and Thursday will pretend to be Monday... or something like that anyway.

I'm enjoying the challenge of working bi-vocationally (and wondering how on earth anyone manages a portfolio ministry)... I just need to get better at booking my downtime, which I think should be easier next academic year once I have a better sense of how academic and liturgical calendars mesh (or don't!).

I guess this possibly means that August is going to be a month of (non-preaching) Sundays?