On Sunday evening I had the privilege of going to visit a church in another city in an official capacity to hear a young man preach.  All went well, and I've been able to write what I hope is a positive affirming and encouraging repport.

This post, which is deliberately mischievous, arises from the fact that during the service we stood for three extended periods of 'sung worship' that were musically unsatisfying, some of them theologically or linguistically iffy (in my view).  I can't stand still for 20 minutes any more, I even have to shift my feet around when I'm preaching, so blocks of 20, 15 and 15 minutes (the service was just under 2 hours long) was too much, and I sat the last one out.

Depending on the repetoire of songs in your own church you will know which one I am plagiarsing/emulating.  Hopefully you won't take offence, and just maybe you will have a chuckle...

Standing in a darkened church

Singing endless worship songs

Where the tunes all sound the same

Every Sunday

Lots of bad theology

Lots of battle metaphors

Lots of words I’d love to change

Power language

Guitarist has a three chord trick

Drummer’s in a perspex shed

Singer shuts their eyes…

More than once, we must sing it all again

Then the break, where we find the tune is changed

It’s annoying,

It’s annoying!

Now my hips are getting sore

So I’ll have to take a seat

Just like many others do

Every Sunday

Yearning for a Taize chant,

Iona, Wesley, Kaan or Wren…

Different meters, different moods

Or world music

Organists who change the stops

Choirs in four part harmony

Congregations singing…

Praising God, in diverse ways

Saying sorry, saying please

Hymns that tell a story…

Only once, we can then sing something else

That has links with the theme of the service

It’s quite easy!

It’s quite easy!

Sitting, standing, singing, quiet,

Crying, laughing, thinking, still,

Listening, praying, speaking too

All are worship

God the Father,

God the Son,

God the Holy Spirit…

Every week you must put up with our songs!

Every week you receive our clumsy prayers

Every time you accept our muddled worship

You are faithful

And we're grateful…