Not for those who take themselves too seriously, and definitely not for those who have a prosperity theology (oh, I dunno, maybe it'd be good for them...).  From U-tube and as seen on Chris Tilling's blog...

Many thanks to Julie who sent me this.  Irritable Clergy Syndrome, don't be ridiculous, I'm never grumpy!!!  Least of all near Christmas.

Evil-minded parishioners making life hell for clergy

Ruth Gledhill, Times Religion Correspondent

• Congregations cowed by bullies
• Vicars stressed by the need to be nice

The “dark side” of parish life is detailed in a report published by the Church of England, which describes how peace and love are in desperately short supply in the pews of churches this Christmas.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, is among the contributors to the report, The Future of the Parish System: Shaping the Church of England for the 21st Century.

One of the authors, Sara Savage, a psychology and religion researcher at the University of Cambridge, reports how increasing numbers of ministers are going down with a new illness, irritable clergy syndrome.

Priests are being torn by the pressure of having to be nice all the time to everyone, even when confronted with extremes of nastiness, she says.

It is worse in the suburbs, where Christians can choose between a variety of “gathered” churches, all offering different styles, from tambourines to High Mass with incense. Here, troublemakers indulge in “church hopping”, moving on to the next church once they have had enough of the one they are in.

Dr Savage says that these people suffer from neurotic personality disorders bordering on the psychotic.

But even where a church has none of these in its congregation, other problems arise.

One difficulty is how to motivate the “settled blancmange” of the softly acquiescent majority, described by Dr Savage as “social loafers”. “Bums on pews are often just that,” she reports.

Dr Savage says one of the problems is that churches are hierarchical systems, with all the attendant echoes of feudal society. Thus they elicit bad behaviour such as status seeking, fawning, bullying, passivity, blaming others and gossiping.

Clergy soften the impact of this, while at the same time preserving it, by being “nice”, she says. “The norm of Christian niceness is ubiquitous, despite the portrait the Gospels paint of Jesus as an assertive, sometimes acerbic personality who readily confronted people in order to pursue their spiritual welfare.”

She agrees that nastiness is unproductive, but argues that niceness “can tie churches up in knots”. Because lay volunteers, such as churchwardens or vergers, are unpaid, they do not expect to be confronted by their “nice” vicar over the way they fulfil their role.

“Clergy desperately need their lay workers and volunteers, of whom there is a limited supply. Organists know this,” she writes. “I am reliably informed that one of the most stressful features of ministry is the effort to be nice to difficult people.”

The report comes as the Church of England is in the process of looking at new ways of “doing church”. Two years ago Dr Williams called for an overhaul of the traditional parish system to meet the needs of modern society

Read Ruth Gledhill's religious affairs blog

Today I was in the congregation at the church where I 'do' Girls' Brigade as it was 'parade' service and having our own service at 3 p.m. means I can get to both.

It was the Junior church play.  During the course of the play, the narrator informed us that it was exactly 2005 years, 350 days... (he looked at the clock)... 10 hours and 55 minutes since Jesus was born.  Maybe he knows something I don't, but it brought out the Victor Meldrew in me!

Wonder what people will make of our wise princesses in Tuesday?!

Thanks again to Peter Wyllie - and apologies for the formatting I have still to get to grips with HTML (.... one day....)

Hark! The herald angels sing

“Glory to the King of Kings.

Peace on earth and mercy mild

God and sinners reconciled.”

Joseph’s looking slightly fazed

Shepherds blinded, deafened, dazed.

Kneeling in the soggy straw.

Starlight shining through the door.

Yes my Christmas cards are done;

Don’t you think this season’s fun?

Presents wrapped beneath the tree,

(I do hope there are LOTS for me!)

Joyful all ye nations, rise

Join the triumph of the skies

With angelic host proclaim

Christ is born in Bethlehem.

Christ by highest heaven adored

Christ the everlasting word

Late in time behold him come

Offspring of the virgin’s womb.

Tinsel stars hang from the light;

Flashing reindeer in the night.

I wish that I had bought some more

They’ve covered all their house next door.

Every year it is the same

Commercialism is to blame.

They simply hate to be outdone

But it started as a “bit of fun”.

Veiled in flesh the Godhead see

Hail the incarnate deity

Pleased as man with man to dwell

Jesus our Immanuel.

Hail the heavenly prince of peace

Hail the sun of Righteousness

Light and life to all be brings

Risen with healing in his wings.

Can’t wait for Christmas Eve to come!

With all my preparations done,

Pour myself a Christmas sherry;

‘Tis the season to be merry!

I want this Christmas to be smashing,

My plastic’s taken such a bashing!

So many things I had to get

You simply can’t avoid the debt.

Mild he lays his glory by

Born that man no more may die,

Born, to raise the sons of earth,

Born, to give them second birth.

Come Desire of Nations come

Rise, the woman’s conquering seed

Come and meet our every need.

My world, my town, my street and me

All need peace and liberty!

Free to rest and worship him

Who came on earth to conquer sin.

Somewhere it all went astray

Amid the tinsel on display;

Amongst the crowds all spending madly,

Even we lost Jesus, sadly.

Let us Thee, though lost, regain

Thee, the Life, the Inner Man;

O! To all thyself impart

Formed in each believing heart.

Lord display your saving power!

You’re not a baby any more.

You’re a king upon a throne,

Ever calling to his own.

Calling to each wayward child

“Come, today, be reconciled.”

This is why you came to earth,

Why you had a human birth.

So Lord, this year, amid the noise

Of TV shows and hi-tech toys,

Let us find true peace and rest

In the place that you have blessed.

In that quiet place apart,

Nestled in the Father’s heart.

Let us hark the Angels sing,

And worship you, our King of Kings.

©Peter Wyllie – December 2005 (& Charles Wesley)

With thanks to Peter Wyllie, book seller, sometime poet and visitor to this corner of the food court ...

Away with the manger

No crib and no bed

No little Lord Jesus

Just Santa instead.

The stars on the Tele

Sing songs for the poor

And charity mail shots

Beg me to give more.

The reindeer are flying

Across the night sky

With a sleigh full of presents

Wrapped up and piled high.

I love it at Christmas

With lights on the tree

With gifts piled beneath it

All labelled for me.

The taxman is gloating

And smiling with glee

All Profit for him

And no Prophet for me!

Bless all the dear shoppers

At this time of year

The point has been lost now

Forever I fear!

© Peter Wyllie December 2006.