At the end of the day, having achieved quite a lot, and squished the monster back into its box, I am looking back and feeling content. There has been a lot of stuff to occupy my thoughts and lots of positive moments along the way. After yesterday's online GDPR training, I have to admit it's nice to be sitting down not working this evening!!

When you set out to write a sermon and it goes off in a direction you did not expect... that!

(Channeling the inner monster for good purposes, hopefully)

So, it's about two-and-a-half weeks now since I declared myself 'off the sertraline' and on the whole, it's been good: more energy, more range of feelings, more alive.  The nausea has gone, and though the night sweats continue, I am getting used to them.  The problem is the insomnia and the chronic hip pain (due to other drugs and injury/over use), which have combined to disturb the monster who is stretching her claws... oh dear!

On the plus side, I am experimenting with herbal remedies that seem to be improving my sleep, and have discovered a form of paracetamol that I can tolerate in low doses... so I am hoping the monster will settle down again quickly, because I don't want to have to go back to the doping method (though will if necessary).

It all feels like a strange dance, to which no-one taught me the steps, where one day I can be happy as Larry, and the next aware that I am ready to 'snap' at the least provocation.  Today tends to the latter of these, and I don't like it one bit.

Ah well, in the scheme of things, it's nothing much to worry about - at least I am here, bascially healthy, mostly happy, and always grateful.

In June, I will be flying through the air for a few seconds, crossing the river Clyde, and raising money for Breast Cancer Care, the support charity with whom I volunteer.  Over the past few years, I estimate that I have offered peer support to around thirty women, some newly diagnosed, some at the end of active treatment, and everywhere in between.  Although I don't cost the charity anything directly, the service is not cheap to run, as there are employed staff, and volunteer training to pay for.  And that is just one small part of the work of this charity.

I have added a "button" to the top of this blog, which can be used to sponsor me, if you feel that is something you would like to do.  Alternatively (or as well) you could go down to the Clyde on Saturday 16th June and watch me take my courage in both hands, step off the edge and 'zip slide the Clyde'.

It has been a very busy, and quite challenging/demanding week, full of variety and with lots of moments that were joyful, privileged, grace-filled or all three.

So, here's a kind of a thank you prayer as it splurges out of my brain onto the computer...

Thank you God

For fried-egg butties, and HLT (grilled hallumi, grilled tomato, and lettuce) rolls...

For mugs of tea and bottles of fizzy water

For ideas to stretch my mind - which confirm your Spirit's leading in the sermon I'd already written

For buses and trains - and for people who offer lifts

For 'cool water' coloured paint that splodges, and needs many layers to cover the kitchen walls

For the need to re-embroider dates on towels

For vets and pet insurance, for the NHS in all its forms

For sunny afternoons when we could sit outside

For phone calls and emails; for real life encounters

For admin and study, for reflection and creativity

For the fact that when I can't sleep you are with me

For weaving life's challenges into a more beautiful whole

For life in its fulness, messy, complicated, and charged with joy, privilege and grace.

For these - and for those I can't even recall -

Thank you, loving God.