Each week in Morning Worship, we have a psalm or an anthem, chosen by our Musical Director (sounds way more posh than reality, but he is absolutely BRILLIANT).  This morning we had one of my favourites:

I will be with you wherever you go.
Go now throughout the world!
I will be with you in all that you say.
Go now and spread my word!

Come, walk with me on stormy waters.
Why fear? Reach out, and I'll be there.
    Chorus

And you, my friend, will you now leave me,
or do you know me as your Lord?
    Chorus

Your life will be transformed with power
by living truly in my name.
    Chorus

And if you say: 'Yes, Lord, I love you,'
then feed my lambs and feed my sheep.
    Chorus

Gerard Markland (born 1953) © 1978 Kevin Mayhew Ltd

If memory serves correctly (it may not) this was the piece we used at the first service I took after I made my cancer diagnosis public; certainly it was used in a service around that time, and really spoke to my heart at a time when I was utterly terrified.  It feels pertinent that we sang it today, the second anniversary of my surgery, when I feel happy, fulfilled and very much alive. 

I am really miffed that I can't find a video or mp3 of this gorgeous piece online, so I can't share it with you, but maybe you can find a recording somewhere (for anyone in the know, a recording of the service will be on the Gathering Place website in due course.)

A propos of nothing whatsoever.

Holly Cat has lived with me for roughly eighteen months.  We get on well and she often sits next to me on the settee, sometimes even extending her front paws onto my knee.  Today she actually sat on my lap, curled up and stayed put for a full ten minutes. 

A purr-fect end to what was, in my opinion, a good morning at church.  I don't often say things like "God was moving" or "the Spirit was abroad" because I think they are bad theology - God is always moving, the Spirit is always abroad - but as I looked around during the celebration of Communion I did feel that something was afoot... that somehow we (or I anyway) had tuned in a teensy bit more with God.

Preaching on the lectionary gospel, and Jesus nearly getting lynched by the congregation at Nazareth was challenging, but I loved working with it this week, and I expect that made a huge difference to what I delivered.

Candlemas - the Presentation of Christ in the Temple

Today features in my personal calendar as one of the 'milestone' events.  Two years ago to the date, I went into hospital for my mastectomy and immediate reconstruction.  Last year I posted about  Candlemas and Other Associations .  The year before, up at some ludicrous hour, I posted this.

Having noted those two links, I wondered what else I had written about as previous 2nd February blogposts...

2010 - about a prayer breakfast with the local C of S

2009 - a lighthearted reflection on dressing up to walk through snow for a hospital visit

2008 - two posts, one arising from a Vision Day, led by someone who is no longer in pastoral ministry, for Dibley BC, and one about plans for a multi-sensory Easter experience

2007 - no post on 2nd Feb, one the day before, three the day after!  So I chose this one, which was about the idea of a pub-based midweek event, which Dibley ran for a couple of years

2006 - I was a far less prolific blogger in those days - nothing on the date or anywhere near.  In the end I picked this one from 31st Jan, because every now and again the same truth emerges - Catriona the Risk Assessor is who God called to be Catriona the Minister!

Interesting to look back and see what was occupying my thoughts and my activities.  Interesting to see what has changed and what has stayed the same.  Interesting to see how my blog has changed in style and content (to say nothing of frequency!) in that time.

As I look back, I do so with a sense of satisfaction.  Not smug satisfaction at how wonderful I have been or how much I've achieved, but healthy satisfaction.  Satisfaction that, for all my flaws and foibles, for all my foot-in-mouth moments, for all my anxieties and fears, I have exercised a worthwhile ministry, have exercised the ministry to which God called me, and for which God equipped me.  And that encouraged me to carry on doing just that - going forward in the footsteps of Jesus, tripping and stumbling, biting my tongue, wondering and even worrying, for the journey has many miles, and many more milestones, still to come.

Here I am Lord - employ me according to your good will.

So, the long awaitied Sabbatical is nearing (July to September), and plans are shaping up. 

Spiritual Refreshment

I have begun looking for suitable retreats to attend, and have identified one possibility of a six day Ignatian IGR on the west coast of Scotland in September.  I am still trying to find something for July that is a different style, and ideally centred on urban or city spirituality.  Some readers are in 'urban' networks, others in 'spirituality' or 'retreat' networks so ideas from them would be most welcome.

Study/Reflection

For the 'study' aspect, I have made contact with BUGB about some empirical research I hope to do into ministers' experiences of living with or through life threatening or life altering illnesses/conditions, under the working title 'Public Faith and Private Pain'... I am waiting for them to get back to me on how best to pursue that, but I also have Plans 'B' and 'C' if that avenue proves impossible.  I'm not seeking any input for this yet, but may do in due course.  The output will be either a conference paper or journal article.

Learning and Development

The area where I am especially eager to hear from others, is in identifying churches in city centre or town centre locations who are successfully serving their local communities through a kind of 'open doors' approach.  Let me explain. 

The Gathering Place is located in the buzzing West End of Glasgow, near one of the city's three universities, in the heart of a touristy retail and restaurant zone.  There is a lot of residential property nearby, much in multiple occupancy, much housing students but also refugees and vulnerably housed individuals.  Wealth and poverty coexist, with the attendant problems of addiction, loneliness and vagrancy.  Our home base is well used throughout the week: currently at least three different exercise/fitness groups, three parent and baby 'classes' and a toddler group, three different addiction support groups (AA, NA and Nic Anon) some with plural meetings, a monthly open mike poetry group and then various ad hoc bookings for parties, choir rehearsals, craft days, charity fairs etc.  We are, and are proud to be, one of the community spaces is a densely built area, and we are pleased for our building to be used this way.  Alongside this run our own midweek activities, a couple of afternoon devotional meetings, and a programme of assorted week night meetings (not forgetting Deacons and Committee meetings!).

As part of my sabbatical, I would like to identify and visit churches with similar visions in similar locations.  Ideally Baptist, but other traditions perfectly accpetable.  My hope would be to spend a few days with each of these, to speak with them about how they understand their ministry/mission and to glean ideas that might help us, either in terms of 'best practice' or to develop our own ministry-and-mission.  Bloomsbury Baptist (since I know you read this sometimes), you are on my 'to contact' list.  Other suggestions very welcome.

Comments on this blog are a right pain, but the name of a church, a retreat centre or a contact *should* get through.  Those who know me via other networks (email, FB, LinkedIn or even snail mail) feel free to use those as well/instead.

I am excited about what this sabbatical will bring, looking forward to being refreshed and renewed to serve the people I love in the corner of God's Kindgom that is the Gathering Place.  Still six months off - but planning now begins :-)

Every now and then someone tells me they think I am very patient - if only they could see inside my head!  If patient means allowing people to make mistakes, yes I'm patient.  If patient means tolerating disagreement, yes I'm patient.  If patient means accepting that sometimes things they longer than I think they should, yes, I'm patient.  But if patient means sitting benignly waiting all day for a parcel that does not arrive, then I am so not patient!

This week I ordered two items of furniture to be delivered to my home, a desk and an office chair, all part of my Grand Plan to create a nice work space in heaps of time for my sabbatical this summer. (Readers will notice I'm starting to talk more about this; it's getting nearer and plans are starting to shape up: exciting!).  I received an email to tell me the chair had been dispatched, and using an online tracking system, I found it had left the depot for delivery, so sat patiently, working at home all day... no chair.  I kept checking online to see if it had been checked back to the depot so that I could rearrange delivery... it never was.  Yesterday morning I logged in bright and early - to discover it had been sent out again before 6 a.m.  So I sat and waited, and finally it arrived.  It's a good chair, I'm happy with it but not impressed by a certain international parcel company whose initial letter seems to stand for 'Useless'.

Today I am waiting for the desk to arrive.  A different company, a different system of notification.  Having been out in the evening on Wednesday, I returned home to a message on my answerphone to tell me they would deliver between 7 a.m. and 9:45 a.m. today, and if there were problems or I wished to change that, here was a tracking code and phone number.  Time will tell if this promise comes good, but I feel more charitably disposed towards them already!

My time has not been wasted.  I have worked well at home, prepared a sermon I'm happy with, done a reasonable amount of reading on mission, attended to various admin matters and even held a small meeting (in which Holly cat participated in snoring observer status).  This morning I will play the fun game of 'picking hymns' ready for next Sunday, and spend a bit more time thinking ahead to Lent and Easter (ulp!).

Patience may be a virtue, but benign tolerance of incompetence it is not!

EDIT (10:10 a.m. or there abouts)

OK, so I sit in my flat working away at hymn picking etc. and the phone rings just six minutes before the end of the delivery window... we're really sorry, your item hasn't reached our depot yet so we can't deliver, we will call you again when it arrives to arrange a new date.... HUH???

• don't shoot messenger, be polite
• stamp round room
• update blog with whinge
• remind self that at least they did let me know
• be very grateful I can work at home
• and b-r-e-a-t-h-e! :0)