Today is exactly one month since my surgery took place.  On the whole my scars are healing well and even regaining a bit of 'feeling' which means it now hurts when I have to pull of the tape in order to rub in the E45.  E45 - I should have shares in that company by now, I've bought so much of the stuff.

It's good to pause and take stock of how far I've come in that month because it could all too easily just drift into the next phase.

When I left hospital I was astounded at quite how tired I was - most days of that first week I was tucked up in bed by 7 p.m. (though it has to be said I didn't sleep during the day at all).  Now I am living full length days, if not filling them with all that much activity.

When I saw the radiotherapist a fortnight ago she fell about laughing at the lack of movement in my 'affected arm'.  Now it is almost back to normal - a couple of inches left to go to get full extension - and importantly I can lie with it above my head pretty much pain-free.

In the first three weeks changing the steri-strips and later tape on the scar on my back was an acrobatic feat, juggling the tape in the hand of my one functional arm whilst lookign in the mirror (the nurse was impressed with my handiwork!).  Now I can use both hands and it is incredily simple!

A month ago my brain was pure mush - concentration was almost non-existent and I even sometimes found myself scrabbling for specific words.  Now, after a normal jigsaw, a knitted teddy bear and part of a super fiendish jigsaw I am feeling more alert - and even read an extended complex article online today.

This week I have begun taking daily walks again - typically 2-3 miles - and today for the first time I ventured into town on the train!  I am definitely feeling better for the exercise.

At four weeks post-surgery I am now about to start the 'advanced' exercises for my arm and feel much stronger than I did even a week ago.  There is still a way to go to regain that last bit of movement in my arm, and a long wait until I can even think about resuming any weightbearing acitivities, but on the whole things are going well and I feel a lot brighter.

I think, to give it a hiking metaphor, it's been like walking through a boggy field, in which your feet get sucked into the mud and sometimes it feels like you're going backwards, not forwards.  Then, all of a sudden you look up and see the gate at the far end is not so far away (and hope that the cattle don't all congregate there just as you arrive!).

The last stage of my 'journey' through active treatment is the radiotherapy, which begins in April and will consist of twenty-five zappings over a six-week period.  Hopefully between now and then I'll be out of the boggy field and along the path again for a bit of easy walking...

Crocuses (croci?)  and Rhodedendrons in the local park... enjoy

An old hymn comes to mind...

Yes God is good. In earth and sky,

In ocean depths and spreading wood,

Ten thousand voices seem to cry:

God made us all and God is good.

I lent my copy of this little book to one of my choir last year - and last I knew it was still making its way round the choir...

Interpret as you will! 

Later editions are available.

So this one from Archdruid Eileen amused me.

All of which reminds me of the joke I first heard way back in the 1970's and which still crops up from time to time...

A minister was being shown the new church building, equipped with every modern gadget.  As he (it was the 1970's afterall) walked into the worship space he noticed there were no seats, and commented on this.  The steward pressed a button and up popped a row of seats right at the front of the church.  The steward explained that until this row was filled no more seats would appear but, once it was, this row would glide backwards and a new row would appear in front of it.  So it went on... devices to ensure good singing, good coffee, etc. etc.

Finally the minister approached the lectern/pulpit.  It was fully adjustable for height, had plenty of space for his papers and Bible; overhead was an illuminated sign that flashed 'listen' as he began to speak.  Wow, he said, this is marvellous.  Ah yes, said the steward but the best bit is the auto-timer... if the sermon exceeds twenty minutes a trapdoor opens and the preacher disappears...

I'm sure others tell it better but it still makes me smile.

I have just started - well spent I guess around four hours on - the jigsaw shown here.  Lent to me by AE it is a Devilish Jigsaw, hence AEDJ.

It seems to me there are only two ways to do this jigsaw...

1.  The 'happy accident' - toss all the pieces in the air and hope the 1 in 1000! (one thousand factorial) chance that it comes out with the pieces in the right order happens.

2. 'Sift and sort' and systematically build.  Slow and steady.  So far I have 'built' all the 'oranges' using this method and am now taking a break before deciding what to focus on next.

The good thing is that when someone sent me a link for a lengthy legal ruling I had concentration and focus enough to read and make sense of it (well until I realised it was really long so I skipped to the end to see what the punchline was!).

So, thank you AE and others who have set me various OT (Occupational Therapy) type challenges to get my mind working again.

Last Sunday's guest preacher reminded us that the stories in the Bible give us hints and glimpses of God's nature.  The stories of Abraham, David, Moses, Ruth, Esther, Sarah, Martha, Mary, Peter, Thomas and so on all tell us something about the God who we, as Christians, claim is all-loving.

Rob Bell, perhaps best known for the Nooma videos used by many, many churches, has, it seems been causing controversy by asking questions about how evangelical Christians understand God and how this relates to notions of heaven, hell, orthodoxy and heresy.  You can see the video that is getting him into hot water (or is that hot flames?) in some circles here.

Bell's new book 'Love Wins' comes out shortly and I have pre-ordered it.  I am looking forward to seeing what Bell really says - rather than what the critics think he might have said.  I recall the furore in some circles when Steve Chalke dared to question penal substitution as the only valid understanding of the cross; it seems Bell might be causing similar stirs across the pond.

The big question - what kind of God - has to have the 'so what.'  Whether or not people agree with what Bell concludes, he is asking important questions, and doing so publicly; for that I am grateful.

A couple of articles here and here and here.  See what you think... and I won't call you a heretic whatever you decide!!