Today a deluge of post (unfortunate metaphor, sorry) including several Baptist bits - one from ministries, asking among other things, for people to participate in a research project on understandings of ministry, one confirming a grant of just over £500 towards my own study fees for next year (subject to superisor's report, which I thought they'd had) and the dear old BT with a spread on NAMs.

Well Liz, will you be putting your own photo in the cat litter tray, that's the question?  Great interview, generous honesty and you will be a great minister. 

I was left with slightly mixed feelings about the list of leavers, recalling the pain of leaving college with no idea where God was leading you next.  Whilst I rejoice with Liz and the others who are settled, I mourn with those who face yet more interviews, squints, views, trials by quiche and the unhelpful, if well intentioned comments of others.  My own 'best' horrendous comment, from the chaplain for goodness sake, was 'God must think you are very special to allow you to experience this.'  Miraculously, I did not resort to violence!

I discovered I am in the excellent company of John Weaver in taking three goes to pass a driving test, and have to admit I was, generally, impressed by both his and Nigel Wright's articles.  Churches often do not 'get' what having a NAM is about and can combine patronism ('we've had students before') with unrealistic expectations and lack of support.

Having served my time, and been handshaked in May, I look back on my 'formation' with mixed feelings.  I loved the theological study, the ecumenical relationships and even the challenges that felt uncomfortable.  I enjoyed the diversity of people I met and the opportunities I had to try new things.  Settlement began with hopeful anticiaption and continued in agonising uncertainty before finally ending in relief!  NAMing has been 'interesting' but as I look back I have certainly grown in confidence as the minister God has called me to be.  When I was entering my final year of college, I was quite convinced what I did not want - suburban or a building project - and what I ended up with is essentially both.  I find I am amused to be regarded locally as 'visionary' and a 'mover and shaker' and when people say 'oh yes, you're that Baptist woman who does services in a pub' - few who knew me 8 years ago would have anticipated any of that.

Despite the ups and downs, I don't regret for one moment 'leaving my nets' to follow God's call.  In the famous words, 'here I am, and can do no other'

John Weaver is right when he compares learning to be a minister to learning to drive - passing the test is only the beginning, you have toget out there and do it.

I am truly grateful that the BU encourages us to go on studying and learning, because it really is important not to stagnate.  And today, I will pause to pray for those named in the BT, especially those from NBC, and, because they are close to my heart, those who are waiting for the list of churches from this week's NST meeting and praying that this time there just might be a church for them...