So, after yesterday's rant, God gave me kind of an answer, along with a hint at a Bible reading for next Tuesday morning.

I was at a meeting of a committee I serve on, and enjoy being part of.  The chairperson - who I know doesn't read this blog because he didn't know what a blog was and couldn't imagine why he'd want to read one - read some theology to us from a big book he is enjoying.  He spoke of the great gift of people who can write this kind of stuff which the 'jobbing pastor' to use his phrase can then employ.  As he is a Revd Dr, the title 'jobbing pastor' seemed a bit incongruous, but he shared of the intra-university arguments over whether or not to allow his thesis - which was evidently pastoral theology - to be passed.  For those of us with good brains who choose to use them in God's service there is a tension between academy and church which can lead to either or both of them being awkward to appease.  But somewhere in it all, I felt God was affirming me in my own walk and service.

After these thoughts, he read part of Psalm 139, saying these were words he often used at funerals where he wasn't sure about the deceased's beliefs or character - that heaven or hell (Sheol/depths) God is present.  These may well be the words I will use next week for someone who believed in God but is described by those who knew them best as 'a lost soul.'

Thank you God, for your mysterious presence.