Whilst trying to find the music for Fred Kaan's hymn 'The Church is like a Table' (I've now ordered a copy of a book with it in) I stumbled across this alternative version thereof:

“The church is like a table,

a table that is round.”

Its sides defy detection

yet many feel rejection;

the signs of imperfection

are all too clearly found.

The church is like a table

a table sadly square;

with diners often chiding

at who should be presiding,

dogmatically dividing

the one Lord who is there.

The church is like a sideboard,

a sideboard that is stocked

with promises long broken,

apologies unspoken

and souls too long un-woken.

Alas that past is locked.

The church is like a sofa,

a sofa that is old,

with corners holding treasure

discovered at your leisure;

despite these signs of pleasure

there was no age of gold.

The church is like a freezer

attempting to preserve

the memory of years when

the aisles were full of chairs then;

but now they muster scarce ten

with little in reserve.

The church is really people

most probably appalled

at all this gentle slander -

but semper reformanda

we glimpse the vision’s grandeur,

to God’s tomorrow called.

(c) Peter Brain, 2004:

So, what would you add as your verse?