Arising from a flip comment I made to someone yesterday, and maybe Dave Walker or ASBO Jesus have already done this...

If you had a remote control for your minister/vicar/rabbi/holy-person, what functions would it have?

If you had a remote control for your congregation, what functions would it have?

Obvious ones seems to be:

• fast forward through boring sermon
• mute button for people who drone on and on in open prayer times
• 'gentle shake' function for those who snooze during the sermon
• 'self-collecting' function for used communion cups (Baptist/URC model)
• volume control for singing
• 'make encouraging noises/smile' function for audience congregation

Others?

... I happened upon this yesterday which has to be the most cringingly awful parody of worship ever.  I was waiting for the spoof to be delcared, waiting for the punchline, but no, it seems it is actually someone's idea of worship.  What can I say?  'Sorry God' seems to be the only response possible.  (So why am I posting it then?  Maybe as a kind of reminder to self and others of our potential for self delusion)