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Aaaaaaargh! Not Again

This email arrived this morning:

"Dear Sister, this is a reminder to invite you to our meeting for Pastors' Wives on Saturday 29th October, 7-9pm at *****. If you are a Pastor, please would you kindly pass this onto your wife. For the purposes of catering, it would be helpful to have a rough idea of numbers, therefore, please reply to this e-mail to let us know if you are planning on coming along."
Ok, so
  1. I am not a pastor's wife
  2. I am a pastor but I don't have a wife
  3. If I was a pastor with a wife, I'd be struck off
  4. If I was a pastor who wanted a wife, I'd be viewed with suspicion
  5. I am a pastor who has no desire for a wife or a husband; I like being single thanks all the same
It annoys me because it assumes
  1. All pastors are male
  2. All male pastors have wives
Neither of these is true.
I couldn't attend anyway because I will already be at Baptist Assembly (Scotland) - far more my kind of thing!
I am glad that for those who want it, there are pastors' wives events (NB this is not, so far as I can tell, a Baptist event), I'm glad there are pastors' spice events and networks but this 'sister' is not about to attend any of them.
I ranted about this last year, as I recall, and nothing has changed, so rant again I will!


  • 'I'll try posting again, though your blog seems to be misbehaving.

    I don't blame you for ranting! The invitation also seems to regard the wife as an appendage of the pastor, without having an identity in her own right. I have just asked Wendy, who happens to be married to a pastor, what she feels about her identity. She tells me that she cringed several times last week, when introduced to visitors as 'the pastor's wife'. She is not defined by my role. She is her own person!

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