Today's readings:
Psalm 86: 2 - 4
Job 23: 8-14
Matthew 10: 9 - 20
As I read these passages, there was one verse in one of them them leaped out at me...
"But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. "But he stands alone, and who can oppose him? He does whatever he pleases. He carries out his decree against me, and many such plans he still has in store. (Job 23: 8 - 14)
For the last year, maybe a little longer, a scrap of paper, torn from an envelope has stayed on, or near, the monitor of the church computer. On this scrap of paper, the shaky writing of an elderly hand declares "When he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." These words were penned by someone from church, a promise for me to hold onto during my cancer treatment. From time to time I would become conscious of this little message, blu-taked to the side of the monitor, or, as it is now, tucked under the foot of the flat screen that replaced the chunky CRT affair. This message of hope - that after the 'trial' would be a bright tomorrow - was a good one to hold onto.
Now, it has to be said that my theology does not allow that my cancer was (is?) a 'test' or 'trial' sent by God to 'prove' or 'refine' my faith. But it does allow that such experiences have the potential to shape me in ways that are healthy and life-giving. The story of Job is a strange one - exploring questions about suffering and why bad things happen to 'good' people or good things to 'bad' people - but there are some very beautiful passages within it, and this little verse has travelled with me, and given me hope, along a path that at times seemed very dark and precipitous.
Sometimes, God of Hope, life is very trying; sometimes pressures and stresses weigh us down; sometimes chronic conditions or acute illnesses debilitate us; sometimes life is just one long struggle.
Yet we dare to hope that the promise is true, that through these things, even in these things, you are with us, and that, sometimes, somehow, we will emerge as gold.
Where we see no end to the trials, reassure us of your presence, of the light that guides through the foggy gloom
Where we fear what the future brings, calm our anxious thoughts with your gentle touch
Where we need new hope, meet us where we are
Amen