So, I arrived at the church I was visiting about ten minutes before the service was due to begin, following a couple up the steps to the open door of the vestibule.  A woman steward smiled, introduced herself, held the inner door open and said "you can sit anywhere".  There were very few people present, so I headed for an empty row, not quite at the back, and sat down.  Slowly the church filled up, someone sat next to me and started to chat... all was fine until she asked me what I do for a living: cover blown!  In total cover was blown three times, but most people will not have had a clue who I was.

The service began five minutes after the advertised start time, and ended roughly 80 minutes later, having included communion.  The sermon was well crafted and thoughtful, being very pertinent to the resident congregation at this stage in their lives together.  It did not tell me anything I hadn't already thought, many times, but it was good to be reminded of parts of the story of Moses, of the fact that the Bible is 'edited highlights', of the God who is always there, even we might begin to wonder, and whose plans and dreams go beyond anything our frail minds might dare contemplate.

Musically it was OK - the musicians were competent and were definitely leading worship not performing, but it did confuse me to have one hymn (based on a psalm) with the verses in a very jumbled order.  I knew most of the hymns and easily picked up the others.

The prayers were mixed - all extempore, some an excellent example of this genre, others, well, really, just, typical of it.

Communion was rather odd - devoid of meaningful liturgy, and it felt like we were invited to come forward to receive at least three times before it occurred.  For me, the most weird thing was collecting my bit of bread and my thimble of wine and then having to carry them back to my seat to consume them... made more disconcerting when someone collided with me, causing me to spill half of the wine.  I guess you would grow accustomed to it, and find a way to enter into it more purposefully, but I found it very odd.

So to my little set of questions!

• The welcome.  At the door, a smiling, friendly person, though I was then left to fend for myself.  Those sitting nearby were gently inquisitive, asked my name and chatted.  The service began with a weclome from the front.  The downside is that once everyone is in they bolt the front doors, and the only way out is via a side door - which no-one thinks to mention until you are about to leave.  A good welcome; about right for me.

• How easy or difficult it is to know what is going on? Everything was announced, so it was easy to follow the service.  Just my perennial grouch that we told to stand to sing, rather than invited to do so if we were able.  That said, the person who read the scriptures, an American who claimed that Baptists have always stood for this (really?  not any Baptists I've known!) did add 'if we can'.  Easy to follow, no uncomfortable surprises, but a sense of being 'told' rather than 'invited' to particpate.  If I had tried to leave straight away rather than chatting I might have gone to the wrong door and been left very confused!

• Liturgical process.  Well, yes, most of the elements were there... gathering, praise, listening, breaking bread, praying (for specific people in the church) and a kind of a blessing.  To be honest, the feel was more conference than act of worship, and this was down to the language rather than the process.  Absence of confession and intercession were glaringly obvious... so typical British Baptists.

• Practical and logistical. It was a nice space, a tastefully updated Victorian chapel, with the standard issue padded church chairs with little holes for communion cups drilled into the tops.  The gap between rows was more than adequate and I did not feel squashed up to my neighbours even though the chairs were (rightly) linked together.  Projection of words used (by default) a dyslexia friendly colour scheme, though I'd have loved to adjust the font size (down) and insert a few line breaks in the correct places (that's a fault of the hymn software they were using, not them per se) and the PA was clear.  There were no distractions and it was a pleasant place to be.

• Do I actually feel I have been in worship?  Yes, I did.  Nothing dramatic, just the use of one the hymns that we had used last week, that gave me a sense of continuity, and some gentle reminders of things I already know of how God works.  Good atmosphere, attentive congregation, focussed throughout.

• How did the coffee and cake compare with ours?!  It didn't!  A lovely lady poured me a cup of the most insipid chapel tea I've come across in a very long time, which I then had to carry some distance to another table to find the milk.  There was a plenteous selection of biscuits - but experience told me they all contained soy so I opted out.  There was some good chat over drinks and a lovely atmosphere... but I am already missing the home baking of my gorgeous Gatherers!  

• What felt like heaven?  The diversity of accents and nationalities... those who spoke during worship had Northern Irish, Australian, North American and Glasgow accents; I also heard people chatting in other languages.

•  What felt like the other place?  To be honest, there was nothing remotely hellish about this service; the communion was very disappointing and seemed, to me, wide of the mark, being neither 'congregational' or 'episcopal' in style and combining the worst of each.

So, all in all, a pleasant morning, good hospitality, competent and relevant preaching and a positive start to my church-crawl!