What a wonderful theme! How annoying, then, that I only discovered it on the last day of BBC Radio 2 World of Faith Week. Lots of stories told on the Radio 2 website from different perspectives - never married, widowed, divorced, ordained, 'lay' etc. that are worth listening to or looking at.
The difference between aloneness and loneliness is noted, and the place of solitude and socialising recognised. There a few nice twee stories with happy endings - but then I guess there is a need to give hope to those who long for such and ending themselves. There is also quite a lot of painful honesty.
Living alone well - I wonder that really means?
I recall a singe male minister telling me how a search committee asked him if he could look after himself, and wondered who would cook and clean for him. So is living alone well measured in terms of our diet and the frequency with which we dust? I think there are challenges in the domestic sphere for people who live alone - cooking for one is somtimes a huge effort and the temptation to grab a quick snack can be very strong. Batch cooking and ready meals each have their place, along with a fruit bowl and a good dose of self-discipline.
But that's surely not all we mean by living alone well? Surely it is something about thriving rather than surviving, about being fulfilled rather than filling every waking moment with actiivty.
To be honest, I cannot imagine not living alone now - for roughly 30 years that has been my lifestyle, and it suits me well. There are enormous freedoms that my friends-in-relationships don't have - eating odd things at strange times, slobbing around all day doing nothing (yes, it does happen sometimes!), accepting invitations withoout the need to consult anyone, and so on. There are less fun aspects - the need to get up and make food if I feel ropey, the lack of potential for someone to bring home a pleasant surprise, the absence of a sparring partner or sounding board for important decisions.
But on the whole, living alone suits me. Cat by name and cat by nature, perhaps. Independent but not isolated. Able to enjoy company but not dependent on it.
I'm not sure quite how living alone well is defined - but I like to think I don't do too badly. Here are the tips that Radio 2 offer!
On a more sobering note, a substantial number of people who are part of faith communities reported that they felt lonely - that challenges me as a minister as I wonder who in my congregation feels that way. And what, then, might we and they do to alleviate that?