The sad news of the death from metastatic colon cancer of actress Lynda Bellingham seems to have become accompanied by the usual phrases about 'losing her battle'.  If she or her family used that language (I have no idea whether they did) then I respect that, but it really isn't a helpful expression.

Did she lose?  No, I don't think she did.  She faced, and made, some tough treatment choices, allowed her story to be told, and then died in the arms of her husband, having lived her life as fully as she could for as long as she could.

Was it a battle?  Here I may depart from some people directly affected by cancer, but I really dislike the 'battle' language (and posted about that during my own treatment).  How is it a 'battle' when it is with/against our own bodies?  How is it a fight against some perceived enemy, when this is 'flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone', albeit gone awry, become unhealthily immortal...?

I continue to prefer the 'journey' metaphor which moves away from 'winning and losing' language and gives permission to those who choose different treatment (or non-treatment) paths to find the own way through.  If a journey concludes in death, it is not a failure, any more than if it conlcudes in remission or (in some cases and some types of cancer) cure it is a success.  This is not a wishy-washy alternative - journey does not mean 'stroll in the park', it may include 'valleys as dark as death', it may require near impossible ascents or descents; it may mean torrential rain and howling gales... but it means that what's right for me is right for me, and what's right for you is right for you.  It means no one does 'better' or 'worse' just different.  It means that the person who dies has not 'lost', has not some how 'failed' or been 'defeated', rather it acknowledges a destination from an unchosen journey, travelled with courage, humour, determination (or any other mentions or attitudes) has been reached.  It does not deny or belittle the reality of loss, but it does free everyone from the potential for guilt, blame or regret.

Rest in peace, Lynda Bellingham, you travelled your journey with courage and tenacity, encouraging and reassuring others along your way.

Oh, and of course if you are 50+ and live in Scotland, or 60+ and live in England, Northern Ireland or Wales, then please, please, please do the bowel sreening... it may be 'poopy' but it might save you travelling one unwanted journey...