Sometimes I am amazed that I am still maintaining a blog so many years after it began... but if the book on introverts that I'm reading is correct, it is partly a result of my introvert nature.  It seems that introverts can be more comfortable expressing thoughts and feelings in a 'virtual' world than a 'real' one - so blogs and social media suit us well.  I think that's true in my case, and is perhaps why  sometimes people comment on the level of openness and honesty when I write about personal things.  And I suspect that's why every once in a while I post something that causes enough offence that it has to be taken down or retracted.

When I began blogging, hardly anyone read my stuff, and certainly no-one in my church.  It was a place where I could experiment with ideas fairly safely, knowing pretty much who might be reading the 'ramblings, reflections and rubbish' I posted. 

Moving north to the Gathering Place changed all that and a lot of folk in church read this stuff - probably more than I am aware of.  So things changed, it became more reporting of church life. 

After my cancer diagnosis it became a safe-enough space to share news and feelings, and it certainly attracted huge numbers of readers (those days, rightly, are pretty much past now). 

More recently it has changed again and the readership of which I am aware (mostly I haven't a clue who the 1500+ readers a month are) means that I often need to think before I write in a way that I'm not always so good at.  Sometimes frustrations (justifed or not) and grumpiness spill over into to what I express. 

So time for more changes I think.

One change is a return to journalling - something I was forced to do for a decade as part of my ministerial training and formation, and then by the university when doing my research degree.  After a decade I was sick and tired of it and needed a break.  For all that, the ability to blurt my thoughts onto paper (or a laptop) stood me in good stead for journalling my way through my cancer treatment (and indeed I still maintain that journal albeit very infrequently... treatment and side effects continue and I need a safe, private place to record and reflect upon them).

Last summer I bought a beautiful book to start a new journal - it never got going for various reasons, which I have now thought more about, and put into proper perspective.  I do need a safe space to record the aspects of ministerial life that are not helpfully shared via a blog, and the journal meets that need. 

Which leaves me with a question of "what now for my blog?"  And the answer is, I'm not sure.  Times have changed, I have changed, the readership has changed.  I don't feel I want to give it up yet, but I'm not honestly sure what the future holds for it.

Has this blog run its course?  I'm not sure.  But as I've said at various times in the last couple of years, frequency and content are likely to change.  That's not wrong.  In fact it's probably very right. 

The important thing for me is to be clear what I share where and why.

So to all my loyal readers, thank you for your ongoing support - it is you who make this blog the 'live' thing it is, and whose occasional annoyance at my cluminess, as well as kind support and encouragement are equally important as checks and balances along the way.