It's always interesting what fessing up to things can lead to!  Whilst I still wrestle with the selfishness of  asking people to pray that my BP behaves tomorrow - and despite so many of them telling me it isn't selfish at all - it has been really lovely to have promises of prayers and vibes (from those who don't 'do' God or prayers).  Also lots of suggestions for things I have tried before, but maybe tried too hard and so they didn't 'work' because they depend on non-striving?

So I have been using breathing exercises and a sort of mindfulness/relaxation (they aren't quite the same thing but still, close enough for these purposes) and having been using a 'mantra' along the lines of 'breathe in calm, breathe out stress'.  I've even paid the princely sum of 79p to download a ten minute 'hypnotherapy' thing.

I mentioned to some women minister friends that I was doing this, half in jest saying I was getting very 'dodgy'!!!  In response we spoke about celtic circling prayers, of breathing as prayer in its own right (a kind of mindfulness awareness of God's presence in each moment).  Another friend has offered to have a go at recording a personalised calming meditation for me.  How lovely is that?

Does it work?  Work is the wrong word, I suspect.  Having kept at it over the last 24 hours, I can now, finally, take myself to a calm, happy place, breathe deeply, listen to the sea and relax.  I can visualise an 'OK' or even good BP reading.  I am reminded that in all things God works with those who love him for good...

So, I can visualise my special minister friends intoning a circling prayer with me.  I can imagine my don't-do-God friends either nestled in my pocket or surrounding me with gentle huggles.  I can take myslef deeper into the presence of God's eternal now.  And of course, I take the pills, drink plenty of water and generally slow myself down.

So far today, my BP seems to be behaving itself.

Circle me Lord - keep peace within, keep tension out

Circle me Lord - keep hope within, keep fear without

Circle me Lord - keep faith within, keep anxiety out

Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner

Breathe in calm

Breathe out tension

Breathe in stillness

Breathe out stress

Circled by God

Forgiven through Christ

Inspired with the Spirit

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well

Amen.