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  • Not my arm...

    It transpires that some folk on hearing I am due to have surgery assumed that this was to 'fix' the arm in which I have lymphoedema.  I hope those folk, on learning the truth are not too horrified!!  It just goes to show that when you try to keep something pretty personal private it can have unexpected consequences!

    Lymphoedema is a chronic, incurable condition, but it can be controlled, in my case very effectively, by the use of compression garments, exercise and skin care.

    There are two kinds of lymphoedema - primary, which is present from birth, and secondary, which is triggered by 'trauma' usually (and in my case) the removal of lymph nodes are part of cancer treatment.

    Basically, this condition results in lymph fluid flowing down into arms (or legs, trunk or breast) but being unable to get out again because pumping action needed to do so is impaired.  Special exercises and massage, and (very expensive) special compression garments can reduce the resultant swelling but can never actually effect cure.

    Lymph fluid seems to agglomerate in fat, and so people with lymphoedema are strongly encouraged to maintain a healthy weight... less fat, less places for it to gather.  Some people who have especially bad lymphodema are involved in some clinical trials involving lyposuction of the affected areas to see if this has any long term benefit.   My lymphodema is defined as 'mild', mostly affects my right hand and wrist area, and was triggered by 'injury' (shifting a ludicrously heavy suitcase that some other passenger had put where it blocked the exit door of a train).  To me, it is just a nuisance, and the compression sleeves a necessary "evil" (though evil is too strong a word).

    So, my arm can't be fixed but the lymphoedema can be kept under control - just so long as I do as I'm told, every day, for life.

    Hope that clears up some confusion!

  • Circling prayers, Mantras, Mindfulness, Self-hypnosis...

    It's always interesting what fessing up to things can lead to!  Whilst I still wrestle with the selfishness of  asking people to pray that my BP behaves tomorrow - and despite so many of them telling me it isn't selfish at all - it has been really lovely to have promises of prayers and vibes (from those who don't 'do' God or prayers).  Also lots of suggestions for things I have tried before, but maybe tried too hard and so they didn't 'work' because they depend on non-striving?

    So I have been using breathing exercises and a sort of mindfulness/relaxation (they aren't quite the same thing but still, close enough for these purposes) and having been using a 'mantra' along the lines of 'breathe in calm, breathe out stress'.  I've even paid the princely sum of 79p to download a ten minute 'hypnotherapy' thing.

    I mentioned to some women minister friends that I was doing this, half in jest saying I was getting very 'dodgy'!!!  In response we spoke about celtic circling prayers, of breathing as prayer in its own right (a kind of mindfulness awareness of God's presence in each moment).  Another friend has offered to have a go at recording a personalised calming meditation for me.  How lovely is that?

    Does it work?  Work is the wrong word, I suspect.  Having kept at it over the last 24 hours, I can now, finally, take myself to a calm, happy place, breathe deeply, listen to the sea and relax.  I can visualise an 'OK' or even good BP reading.  I am reminded that in all things God works with those who love him for good...

    So, I can visualise my special minister friends intoning a circling prayer with me.  I can imagine my don't-do-God friends either nestled in my pocket or surrounding me with gentle huggles.  I can take myslef deeper into the presence of God's eternal now.  And of course, I take the pills, drink plenty of water and generally slow myself down.

    So far today, my BP seems to be behaving itself.

     

    Circle me Lord - keep peace within, keep tension out

    Circle me Lord - keep hope within, keep fear without

    Circle me Lord - keep faith within, keep anxiety out

     

    Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner

     

    Breathe in calm

    Breathe out tension

    Breathe in stillness

    Breathe out stress

     

    Circled by God

    Forgiven through Christ

    Inspired with the Spirit

    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well

    Amen.