OK, it's confession time: this morning I put on my dog-collar and went to visit one of our elderly folk who is very ill.
I know this was bad of me, dangerous in so far as I risked getting overtired, or physically over-stretching and hurting myself. When I set out it was cold and grey, so I had a scarf and gloves, by the time I arrived drizzle had turned to rain had turned to sleet had turned to snow... When I left an hour later I did so in a taxi, warmed up with a hot drink, had some lunch and settled down to do a lot of nothing.
Sometimes it is so hard doing the 'right' thing and maybe sometimes breaking the rules is the 'right thing' anyway. Sometimes it seems as if 'crises' choose to occur when I am on holiday or away on business trips or, in this case, on sick leave. And it's hard - you can take the minister out of the church, but you can't take the ministry out of the girl.
It was pure privilege to sit with an elderly former missionary for an hour, holding her hand some of the time, sitting in companiable silence with her and another church member for the rest, and lastly praying for her and anointing her before I left.
Many years ago (1988) I made a choice not to call in to see my grandparents on a brief trip to my family, days later my grandfather died... I had missed my last chance to speak to him. I promised myself then that, where it is in my power to do so, I will never let that happen again. Over the years I have learned not to ignore the occasional 'hunch' to go and visit someone - this week, conscious that I was on sick leave and would be in trouble if I was found out, I did ignore the hunch, and last night was a troubled one, deeply regretting a missed opportunity. Thankfully, on this occasion, I was not too late.
This week I've come to terms with the reality that travelling south to visit my frail, sick (albeit not currently life-threateningly so) and in hospital, mother is not feasible at the moment - and that is so very hard. I'd kind of like to hope that someone other than my siblings might find an hour to sit with her, hold her hand and tell her that everything will be alright too...