Today's PAYG focussed on a passage from Ecclesiasticus (that's in the Apocrypha in case you don't recognise it) and focussed on an intriguing phrase, "my soul grappled with wisdom".  Wisdom is personified as a woman, or at least as feminine, so I think I can be permitted the connection that popped into my mind with Jacob wrestling all night at Peniel.

These are strong words, challenging words... grappling, wrestling... demanding, risky concepts that risk failure in the quest for success.

In a recent evening service, I used the Jacob story alongside that of Nicodemus as night time encounters with Christ/God and spoke of the value of wrestling with ideas and concepts, of asking questions and exploring possible responses.  I think that 'grappling with wisdom' is somehow similar.

Over the last year or so, I think I have been so busy getting on with personal and practical matters that there hasn't been so much grappling, rather I've had to draw on the resources of grappling in past seasons.  I don't think that's wrong, but it is limited... To change metaphors, if you keep drawing from unreplenished wells, they will, eventually run dry.  So I am taking myself in hand and setting out to be far more intentional in seeking out places and spaces for a bit of 'grappling' as well as refreshment and renewal.

This will begin on Friday, with a day trip to Manchester for a creative writing day (eek! never done that before) cum quiet day (which was what attracted me) for Epiphany.  I am quietly excited at the prospect of being challenged and nourished... grappling with wisdom, searching for her until the end.