Today's PAYG was the passage from John's gospel where the first disciples encounter Jesus, two of them guided to him by John the Baptist.  The phrase the listener was invited to reflect on was Jesus' question to them, "what are you looking for?"

It's a good question to ponder, and like the best theological questions, can be read in many ways at many levels.

What is it that you seek? 

Have you lost something and hope to find it?

Do you yearn for something and hope to obtain it?

Is it something concrete, tangible, measurable?

Is it something nebulous, intangible, ill-defined?

What am I looking for at the start of this year?

For me the answers (for there is no one tidy answer) tend to be nebulous rather than concrete, internal rather than external, individual rather than corporate.

Last year was so incredibly busy, with barely time to draw breath, so this year I am seeking more balance, more space, more tranquility, more time to 'be'.

Last year, also, the incredible busyness was centred very much in short term bursts, so this year I am seeking to step back and take a longer view, to think about what ministry might look like not just this week, month or year, but in the longer term... how best can I serve the Gatherers, what is it that I need to be/do going forward?

After six and a half years 'AD'- and at risk of tempting providence by saying this - it feels safe enough to think longer term ... not the carefree unquestioning expectation of endless tomorrows, but a sense that it's reasonable to make personal plans that look further ahead than just the next couple of years.  At the same time, I don't want to lose the greater spontaneity or spirit of adventure that came with loss of certainty.  So I think I'm seeking a middle course there.

What am looking for?  I think I am looking for rhythms and disicplines in all areas of life that will nourish and sustain me, will serve the 'purposes of God' and so bring a sense of wholeness and peace.

Holding together 'who are you?' with 'what are you looking for' seems to be a good and helpful challenge for the year ahead.  And maybe, just maybe, by writing it here where the whole world can see, I might just hold myself to it!!