This week has been characterised by no less than three endings... two following deaths of people I have known for many years, and one the end of a professional relationship.

Tuesday was the 'direct cremation' or 'cremation without ceremony' of someone I have know almost a decade.  This was their wish, and it was honoured.  It left others in a community of which we were part feeling the need for some kind of ritual - which we found in synchronised candle lighting.

Tuesday was also the day on which my Spiritual Director and I reached a 'parting of the ways' after a couple of years.  It had been good and helpful for a season but was no longer fruitful - it was time to move on, which we did, praying for one another as we parted.

Thursday was the funeral of a long-standing, if not close, friend, that took place in a rural chapel hundred of miles away, yet to which I was able to attend via Zoom.  In the context of Christian worship, and in rhythmic ritual I know, understand and cherish, this felt like a good ending.

Three endings in a week is quite a lot.  Three very different endings gives me much to ponder.

Sometimes endings will be carefully planned and sometimes they catch us unawares.  Some I will exercise some control, others I won't.  Some will satisfy my desires and meet my needs, others will not.

This week I find myself more than ever convinced of the importance of ritual in marking significant life events.  On Tuesday that need was met in the lighting of candles, on Thursday in the familiar patterns of scripture, story, song and prayer.  It's not true that to  one is inherently better, and I am glad people no longer feel pressured into religious ceremonies where none is desired.  However, I think in a post religious age, there is as great a need as ever for appropriate rituals to mark significant endings.

Having a pre-paid funeral plan, and having recorded some desires, I hope that when my time eventually comes both that those making arrangements can be assured they have honoured my wishes, and that their needs have also been considered and provided for.