The installation of Dame Sarah Mullally as Archbishop of Canterbury has certainly exercised the hearts, minds and voices of many, right across the theological spectrum.  Over the course of the week, I have been asked by some folk what I thought about her appointment, and about her installation address.

So what do I think, as someone who was a 'first' in a much smaller pond, and without the glare of the world's media?

At the time of my appointment, there were those within Baptist life in Scotland who rejoiced that, finally, a church had called a woman as its senior or sole pastor.  There were also those who saw it as proof of creeping liberalism, heresy and even apostasy.  Almost seventeen years later, when my successor, also a woman, was appointed, officials refused to attend, or to play any part in her induction, because of the inclusive and affirming stance held by the church - which is crazy because the changes since my arrival in 2009 were minimal, other than to more intentionally recognise an existing reality within that church.  I guess those who saw me - and us - as apostate will feel vindicated; personally, I am proud to be a heretic and proud of a church that dares to hold fast to its calling.

But perhaps this also hints at something of the challenges I faced - and that the ABC will face in some measure - as I sought to be true to myself and my calling, whilst not derailing the progress of women into ministry in general, or leading a specific church to say 'never again'.   There are, I think, unique pressures of being 'first' and unique tensions to be held as creatively and constructively as possible.  Did I always get this right - of course I didn't - but it was always there at the back of my mind, every step of way, every decision I made to speak or stay silent, every action or took or failed to take.  I am sure for some I was nowhere near sufficiently radical - and I already hear voices saying the same of the new ABC - sometimes the wisdom is to go slow and be patient, which is never universally popular.

Moving away from that role, after almost fourteen years, brought with it the release of a breath I didn't realise I had been holding***... Not because everything this side of Hadrian's Wall is roses - it isn't - but because I no longer have that constant feeling of responsibility for my every waking moment.  I loved - and still love - the church that allowed me to serve it for so long.  I am thrilled that they have called a capable and creative woman to walk alongside them for their next adventure.  I am grieved that so little has changed, indeed that attitudes have hardened since 2009 or even 2023.  But I a also grateful that the burden of 'first-ness' is no longer mine to carry.

So, I pray for the new ABC that her joys will be every bit as wonderful as those I experienced in Scotland.  And I pray that in the responsibility of being 'first' she will have others able to come alongside her and uphold her on the days - and they will come - when she is accused of heresy, apostasy or worse.  I pray too for all parts of the Church that we might grow on grace and generosity, delighting in diversity and celebrating all that is good. 

***Actually, in writing this blog post, I realise that I still carry some of the that responsibility (or is it cowardice, I'm not sure) and edited out direct reference to individuals and organisations.  Hmmm.