Today is the seventh anniversary of my ordination (yesterday was the thirteenth anniversary of my hearing a call to ordained ministry). It's not a date I tend to keep, but I do like it when it lands at Advent 2 which feels somehow fitting.
What a lot has happened in the 13 years since I heard an almost audible voice from God call me to this role. And what a lot has happened since that day seven years ago when, as the last of my year group (unlike Spurgeon's, Northern don't do 'batches') to settle I was ordained.
It was with some trepidation that I took up my appointment in Dibley (I'm sure they were "trepidated" too!) as a baby minister, full of ideas about what church could or should be, full of energy but still with one heck of a lot to learn. During the first three years I was very grateful for the support of the BUGB mentor scheme, the requirement from Northern that we return twice a year for an overnight, and for the support of my much-loved and much-missed Regional Ministers, especially the late Peter Grange who modelled for us so wonderfully his concept of the 'less anxious presence.' Having to work with many churches in crisis and conflict, Peter had read widely and trained thoroughly in techniques to aid his work. He had the wisdom to recognise that the theoretical 'non-anxious presence' was a fallacy, and offered his own 'less anxious presence' instead.
Leaving Dibley after as near as makes very little difference six years, I was a fully grown minister, a qualified BUGB mentor, a member of a number of committees local and national and had, I believe, established a track record of competency. My little church served me well, giving me the space and place to grow into the minister I now am. I am grateful that they took the risk of calling me all those years ago.
And now just over a year into life in Glasgow, I am privileged to part of a church that is happy and growing. Growing in numbers for sure, but also growing in other ways I suspect too. We have people coming forward to take responsibilities and other people just quietly picking up when something needs to be done ('needs doing' for English readers, 'needs done' for Scots ;-) ). The last couple of Sundays when we've had problems with the heating and the electricity have shown the strength of commitment as people have 'kept calm and carried on' bringing in blankets and portable heaters, making extra hot drinks, helping each other on the snow and so on.
Seven years on from when I was ordained I have undoubtedly changed a lot. My theology continues to evolve (are those words allowed in the same sentence?!) and I continue to wrestle with what it means to be a minister and to be a church in this day and age. I am qualified as a mentor for both BUGB and BUS (pretty rare I suspect) though have yet formally to support any students, BUGB NAMs or BUS PAMs (not that PAMs are called PAMs but still, you get my drift). I am sort of involved with various bits of Baptist and ecumenical life, though at the moment much of that has to be 'on hold'. Above all I think I continue to learn what it means to be a 'less anxious presence' entrusted by God and by people to lead something so precious and vulnerable as a church.
Now and then, as I hear news from my friends in the 'real world' I wonder what I might be doing now if I'd stayed in that world - ignoring or defying the call to ministry. But I never have any regrets, never wish my path had been different, not even though at times it has been pretty hellish. At risk of offending my more sacramental friends, I still don't have a sacramental view of ordination, and I don't think anything ontologically occurred when words were spoken. But being a minister is what I am, probably what I always was, and I am happy to be seven years old today!