So, this is a REAL cold, a proper keep-you-awake-cos-you-can't-breath and/or your-nose-drips-like-a-tap kind of a cold.  Way back when, in the days I had a real job, one of my colleagues used to take great delight in me getting colds, as I always had a red nose, rheumy eyes and sometimes a husky/gravelly/lost voice... and was nicknamed Rudolph for a few days.

Hurrah for Beecham's powders, mixed with orange juice, honey and hot water, which stave off the worst of the acute-rhino-virus symptoms quite well.

An enjoyable day in prospect - and hopefully an hour's leaping about will drive out the little monsters that are hiding in my bloodstream - but definitely Rudolph the Red-nosed Preacher for tomorrow.

Today's readings...

Psalm 22: 6 - 7

Exodus 4:2 - 3a

Matthew 26: 6 - 13

To be honest, reading these verses once, twice, three times, I struggled to find anything that spoke to me about hope... the words from the psalm are full of despair ("I am a worm"), the words from Exodus, quite frankly, meaningless out of their wider context, the story from Matthew very well known and well loved but 'the poor will always be with you...' 

So, I have decided not to force the issue.  To accept that sometimes what is needed is permission to express hope-less-ness.  "I am a worm and not a person"  I am useless... I am worthless... I am a failure... whatever it might be that people need permission to say, rather than the cheesy Christian 'I'm fine' (Feeling Inadequate, Needing Encouragement).  The hope, then, is not in the terms of a promise (though reading bigger chunks than the Northumbria Community list might well give us that), but that it is permissible to express how we really feel and know this will be acceptable to God.

God,

Sometimes we feel worthless, useless, failures

Sometimes we feel abandoned, isolated, rejected

Sometimes we can find no positives to express

Sometimes we wonder, with the psalmist

"My God, have you forsaken me? I am like a worm..."

Despised, if even noticed,

Trodden under foot

People mock

People insult

They shake their heads in despair or derision...

Where does help come from?

God of Jesus, whose cry of dereliction resounds through the ages

We come as we are

Longing for hope, feeling hope-less,

Hear our prayer

Amen

How to light charcoal in a thurrible and then whirl it round to oxygenate it.

OK so it was a Baptist college

OK so Baptists don't do censing

OK so this Baptist ends up having a coughing fit every time someone burns incense

But

For my act of worship on Sunday on frankincense and prayer I thought I ought to do it properly

So I will risk the coughing fit

This Baptist will try to do censing

Or at least light the charcoal and whirl it round to oxygenate it before adding grains of frankincense.

So I've just been practising in my kitchen!

If you want to see something utterly mad, then you know where to be this Sunday evening! (no, not my kitchen)

Todays' BUGB e-news-sweep thingy links this set of ten tips for better preaching.  Most of it I would go along with quite happily, but, as is often the case with these lists, I cannot concur with the ascertain 'preaching without notes is superior'.  I fully agree, there is nothing worse than someone reading a boring lecture from the pulpit, I've heard my share of them.  But far worse, imo, are those who ramble along, off at a dozen tangents, never actually saying anything much because they are 'going where the Spirit (of unpreparedness?  of arrogance?) leads' them.

Because this old chestnut pops up now and then, and because I make the same response each time, I kind of expect the usual comments.  Suffice it to say, the best sermons I've head are from people who use full scripts and have learned how best to deliver them.

So, my revised step 4 would be something like this:

Notes or not?  This is very much a matter for personal taste, but whatever is decided must be that which best enables the preacher to deliver the message, she/he feels called to bring.  Dull monologues, at one extreme, and structureless ramblings, at the other, are not preaching, and probably don't do much for God either.  Find the technique that works for you, learn to use it well and then get on and use it.

As for me, I intend to stick with my full scripts, thanks all the same, and will improvise, extend or summarise as assems right in the act of delivery.... as the Spirit (of order, not disorder) leads. :0)

Today's readings:

Psalm 86: 2 - 4

Job 23: 8-14

Matthew 10: 9 - 20

As I read these passages, there was one verse in one of them them leaped out at me...

"But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him.  When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.  But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.  My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside.  I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.  "But he stands alone, and who can oppose him? He does whatever he pleases.  He carries out his decree against me, and many such plans he still has in store.   (Job 23: 8 - 14)

For the last year, maybe a little longer, a scrap of paper, torn from an envelope has stayed on, or near, the monitor of the church computer.  On this scrap of paper, the shaky writing of an elderly hand declares "When he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold."  These words were penned by someone from church, a promise for me to hold onto during my cancer treatment.  From time to time I would become conscious of this little message, blu-taked to the side of the monitor, or, as it is now, tucked under the foot of the flat screen that replaced the chunky CRT affair.  This message of hope - that after the 'trial' would be a bright tomorrow - was a good one to hold onto.

Now, it has to be said that my theology does not allow that my cancer was (is?) a 'test' or 'trial' sent by God to 'prove' or 'refine' my faith.  But it does allow that such experiences have the potential to shape me in ways that are healthy and life-giving.  The story of Job is a strange one - exploring questions about suffering and why bad things happen to 'good' people or good things to 'bad' people - but there are some very beautiful passages within it, and this little verse has travelled with me, and given me hope, along a path that at times seemed very dark and precipitous.

Sometimes, God of Hope, life is very trying; sometimes pressures and stresses weigh us down; sometimes chronic conditions or acute illnesses debilitate us; sometimes life is just one long struggle.

Yet we dare to hope that the promise is true, that through these things, even in these things, you are with us, and that, sometimes, somehow, we will emerge as gold.

Where we see no end to the trials, reassure us of your presence, of the light that guides through the foggy gloom

Where we fear what the future brings, calm our anxious thoughts with your gentle touch

Where we need new hope, meet us where we are

Amen