... and back to work.  Somehow February disappeared without me noticing and now on the cusp of March there's a lot that needs to be done - so as you can see I am busy on the diversion tactics!  Out shortly to a meeting then need to crack Sunday's 'transfiguration' sermon and start thinking Lent planning!

Seem to have a possible cold brewing courtesy of someone on the plane who snuffled and sneezed all the way from Auckland to Dubai and/or the one who coughed all the way from Dubai to Glasgow.

Good to be home - lots to do and looking forward to getting back to it!  One last pic of the Sky Tower by night before normality returns:

Safely home after my amazing adventure - all unpacked and stuff put away, Holly cat cuddled, essential contacts made... and now just chillin'

Nothing much to post today (have been on airoplanes for most of the past 36 hours) but this sign at Auckland airport made me smile...

That's just about it, then... been to church, lunch with the minister and her family, took a quick look at the art galleries and back to my appartment to sort out my packing ready for off tomorrow.  Flight not until the evening, so some time to have a last look around, once I''ve  dropped off luggage somewhere or other.

Today's sermon was on epiphany - the visit of the wise men to the young Jesus, and the return home by another route after an experience that defied expectations.  I felt it spoke to me in at least some measure, not so much about my visit to NZ as about the whole journey that has brought me to this point and the return to my physical homeland, changed by what I have experienced.

Three and a half years to the date, and pretty darned close to the time (NZ time anyway) from hearing the words "I'm sorry, it's cancer" that unchosen, unwanted, unplanned journey has brought me to the far side of the planet where sharing my story has somehow helped or blessed some others, where I have recovered/rediscovered some of my confidence, been blessed by awesome Kiwi hospitality, worshipped with two very different Baptist churches, and retrun home invogorated and refreshed.

I still maintain that God did not send me cancer, let alone try to teach me anything by it, but given that it happened, God has given me amazing opportunities I would not otherwise have had.  In fact, so much that is good, beautiful and wonderful has emerged that I am left with a bit of a quandry!  Whilst I'd rather not have had cancer, I cannot regret one moment of my life since hearing those fateful words...  Because God has shared that journey (and still does) and perhaps because I've been willing/determined to play my part, I have been blessed beyond my wildest imaginings... I cannot regret the friendships made, the opportunities that emerged.  That irreversible paradigm shift BC:AD (Before Cancer to After Diagnosis), probably my one contribution to cancer-theological lore/language, has changed my life in ways I could never have imagined, and most of them a pretty amazing.  I can't go back and, if I am honest and if it meant giving up what I've gained, even if I could I wouldn't.

I've had a wonderful time in New Zealand, have been blessed and energised, refreshed and challenged: all of these are good things.  Now I return to the UK tired and happy - it's been great.  Kia Ora

Radio silence now until at least Tuesday afternoon UK time!

... from the Christchurch earthquake.  Who'd have thought I'd be in New Zealand for this day?  It has been quite poignant watching TV news coverage of memorials and reports on the rebuilding work (a long, long way still to go).

Tragedy comes in many forms, most of them down to the way things are in a 'disordered and damaged' world or even as part of a 'best of all worlds' in which free will in some shape or form exists.

Taking a moment to remember those who are still gireving, whose lives have been permanently altered and hoping that they will find a way to embrace their futures.

Day 2 of the conference began with a superb presentation by the conference organiser, combining some careful theological material with some very personal experience, his little granddaughter has neuroblastoma, a rare childhood cancer.  As part of what he shared was this, penned his daughter, the little girl's mother:

We can't go back to normal
Who wants to anyway?
We take this time, we learn from it
We love life more than then.

© Katie Sharples

Very wide-ranging topics, some quantum physics, some Hebrew etymology on the Genesis 1 story, a powerful presentation on Soul Nursing by a very clever Palliative Care Nurse (suspect it was her entire Masters dissertation summarised), a panel of medics being asked about how they related their spirituality to practice (and a good range they were from a Maltese Catholic palliative care doctor to a charismatic evangelical surgical oncologist in colorectal care, and most station between!).

Lunch with some wonderful hospice chaplains (thank you for buying me lunch) and chats with many others – one who had even found this blog (hello!).

I had a wonderful time, amazingly I managed to concentrate through the whole thing (25-30 mins talking being sermon length I guess) and have even retained some of what I heard – copious notes have their uses.  I felt that my paper had held its own in the context of a event, which was both a big relief and a big encouragement – the first serious bit of theological-ish writing from scratch since my diagnosis – it was a thrill to realise I can still do it, even if it was SO hard!

Perhaps the unexpected bonus of the whole event has been the recovery of a bit of confidence… no-one can ever take me back to the BC (Before Cancer) place but the AD (After Diagnosis) place has its own delights to reveal as I journey onwards.  So the doctoral route was not to be, but nothing is wasted and in all things God works for good for those who love God, and now I find, to my amazement I contribute to the body of knowledge on 'Theology, Spirituality and Cancer' – who'd have thought it?